What Is This Blog?

Facebook Friends

2012-02-03T02:53:00.002+08:00

Just realized an ex-Uni course-mate have an abundance of gay friends (Added ~4 suspiciously gay guys on January 2012 alone) .

How to find suspiciously gay guys on Facebook:
1) Cute/Sexy/' Fa Hao'(Horny) profile picture
2) Interested in: Men
3) Likes anything gay-related, eg. 同志電影 gay movies
4) Linked to your other suspiciously gay guys

And I HAD NO IDEA HE is GAY!!!

My witch-hunt for online proof of his actual sexual orientation has not been fruitful so far(besides the enormous number of gay friends and last year's poignant blog posts about breaking ups with someone of unknown gender)

Something must be wrong with my gay-dar, even though I am still KEPO like hell! :P

He must have been adding those 'friends' through some online gay dating websites (I don't want to search for him there, later my dear dear jealous)

The useful Facebook mutual friends linkage shows I have only about 3 gay friends in my friends list ( they kept getting linked to each other with some suspiciously gay guys in facebook) . I had a separate gay facebook account which I somehow abandoned.

Hmm......

2012 - Chinese New Year. Funeral. Work

2012-02-03T02:40:00.001+08:00

There's no better way to procrastinate than staring at the blank field wondering what to write in this dusty old blog.

Happy New Year 2011

2011-01-01T19:20:00.000+08:00

He's Just Not That Into Me

2010-09-23T16:01:00.002+08:00

"Have you met anyone lately?"

"No, as I haven't gotten over you.", I replied.

"Since we barely know each other, what do u find so attractive about me?"

"Couldn't we be friends?", he asked in messenger.

"My sis wants me to buy something for her", I changed the topic, while talking to my sis on the phone and putting down the Uzap belt I've just used as a placebo for my stubborn waistline.

We exchanged a few lines unrelated to his previous question.

Then he went offline, suddenly.

To be honest, I do not know how to respond. While we were "intimate" on the first date, he made it clear on the second date onwards that he just wanted us to be friends, to get to know each other, and that he is busy. He is so busy with other commitments that he is unable to commit to a relationship with me.

We met a few times occasionally, with our relationship getting platonic gradually. I did not mind initially, but I was getting increasingly anxious as I was looking for a proper long term relationship, LTR, and he is not.

"You know it's difficult being with you wondering when you will be ready to commit?", I couldn't hold myself any longer.

"I am not ready. And I don't want to hurt you. Go meet people out there. I am not ready to commit", he mentioned something along those lines.

This is what makes gay relationship more complicated than it should be. While a typical straight couple went out together on several dates with the expectation to become husband and wife and build up a family in the future, there is no such thing in a gay relationship. Regrettably, it's more about lust, physical attraction, and excitement with the variety of choices out there.

I know in this respect, he is a great guy who only wants to be friends for the moment, but I do not know what he wants in the future, especially when he mentions getting a wife and kids, a seemingly easy way out to satisfy the expectations of his parents, relatives, and society as a whole.

By asking me to meet other people, I took it that He's just not that into me, and I decided to move on but him asking whether we can continue being friends baffled me.

I couldn't get the chance to answer his question, but I hope he knows that there are certain emotional baggage I need to dispose of before I can actually befriend him, specifically the longing, the infatuation and the false hope.

Flowers for you

2010-08-21T21:43:00.008+08:00

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

How do you "touch" someone?

A colleague shared his tip. He pursued his wife by ordering flowers to her office, each friday, in different types, but always in her favourite pink colour. He did that until the whole company and her boss knew friday is Pink Flower Day. Even the florist was stressed when seeing him, as there were no more other flowers in pink.

Flowers are so magical, so beautiful, and so sweet in smell. They were picked by humans to convey all kinds of positive emotions ---love, respect, worship, sympathy..., and then left to die, unable to fulfill their functions as a reproductive organ.

A girl expresses her love by cooking and sewing, and a guy can do that by simply buying a bunch of roses. Alas, for people like us, it is not clear which route to take.

Yet, I'd like to present you something without having to cook again. Real flowers wouldn't last, and it's obviously weird to send a guy flowers at his office. So, I decided to dedicate this post for you.

I give you....

....some ~~cheap~~ red Malaysian hibiscus.

Okay, I guess these roses are nicer as a virtual gift.

For you. Sheri

It's really not that simple

2010-07-16T21:40:00.003+08:00

I first thought this was a sung by a guy.

False Alarm

2010-07-01T21:38:00.001+08:00

Oh, guess what, I did not have a first date after all. There's absolutely no love or romance.

I am obviously not attractive enough to be a love interest, and so I am making another friend who will find other people to love.

Somehow I realized this has happened many times before, and I am not particularly upset.

It's just a false alarm.

I'm hoping for better luck next time.

I can't Sleep

2010-07-01T02:18:00.002+08:00

I can't Sleep, probably because of the 3-hour nap I took (woke up at 9pm),

and probably because I will have my first date tomorrow.

Yes, it's the very first date for me.

Not going out expecting just to be friends with a guy in his late forties but ending up having oral sex in the car.

Not going for a swim expecting to gain an under-aged friend but instead was lured into intimate shower sessions together afterward.

No, this time is a proper date, with someone around my age, who definitely is a nice friend to have, and hopefully a love interest. ^_^

This really excites me but I felt more nervous after reading guides on first date for gays. Apparently movies should be avoided and I should not place too much hope and expectations.

Ah well,

Wish me luck.

Fairy Tale: Dick Tumour

2010-06-08T14:38:00.004+08:00

One day, Prince Charming was washing his dick when showering. He was intrigued as he felt a round bead-like substance on the side. He took a look. It's a small little painless tumour. He wondered if it was skin cancer. He also wondered if it has something to do with having masturbated 3 times before the shower that day (damn those porn). He was too embarrassed to sought his fairy godmother for help, and could only wait and see, after trimming away all those pubic hair. 2 days later, Prince Charming was delighted. He became pretty sure the tumour was benign as it was healing after releasing pus.

"What a relief," he thought, "I can now go back to watching porn."

And so he lives happily ever after.

The End.

The Encounter

2010-06-08T14:18:00.000+08:00

On my way back to hometown, there was a handsome guy sitting behind me in the bus.
"Sir, may I borrow your earphone?", he asked and I took the opportunity to have a chat with him. Oh, this Indonesian guy is so damn freaking cute and handsome and he's the same age as me!

Like a stalker, I kept looking through his facebook pictures.

And then I looked at my own pictures.

If only someone would consider me as "so damn freaking cute and handsome".

(Well, there's always plastic surgery....sigh)

Memoirs - Past, Present, Future

2010-05-31T23:15:00.001+08:00

HARVEY -Black

PAST After Dengue Fever at 18 years old...
Shingles
Lacerates leg
No chance in love

PRESENT
Slight Liver problem
Still no chance in love

FUTURE
Depression
Suicide
____________________

HARVEY -White

PAST After High School at 18 years old.......

National Service
College
University + Internship during holidays
Final Year Project
Masters

All passed consecutively in 5 years

PRESENT

Holiday

GREAT NEW Future

Great Job, Great Friends, Great life :)

Happiness is a journey, not a destination

My BASIC Flaws

2010-05-12T03:22:00.002+08:00

Bad Tempers
Annoying
Selfish
Insensitive
Conceited

I'm back to an empty room

2010-05-10T10:13:00.002+08:00

A night of silence
Resonating in my ears
In your absence
I can hear my heart shears

We can always dream and find
Whatever we want
But with our eyes shut from our mind
We can never see what's in front

Still the time will come to us
When the sun shine through the window
Replacing darkness with fuss
Reminding me that right now....

I'm back to an empty room.

I Realized that....

2010-02-20T11:23:00.000+08:00

Sex is Nothing, without love and romance, from both partners.

Nuff said.

Tweeter

2010-01-03T00:23:00.000+08:00

Sitting in this hot and stuffy room, writing this blog post...

I will soon vanish from this cyberspace and get myself occupied with full-time Stress.

It's been great writing in this 'diary' to pass some time.

A digital decade has passed, I am looking forward to this new year, where major transformations of my life will take place.

-----------------------------
Harvey signing out, in 2010.

Exam Result Happens

2009-12-24T12:31:00.002+08:00

After traveling and walking until my leg pain around the city for several days, I am slapped in the face by my exam results that were neither good nor bad, and were neither an achievement nor failure.

The only thing that I achieved this week (besides traveling) is cleaning the air conditioner filter. Now that the air cond finally emits freezing cold air, I have to shut it off as I developed a sore throat and runny nose.

Nevertheless, I'll pick up the holidays cheer tonight for Christmas countdown. Hopefully my grieving process for my results will be over by then, so that I can look forward to a new year with even greater challenges and hardships.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Just My Luck

2009-12-15T20:32:00.008+08:00

Few days ago I commented in someone's blog that I am happily wearing retainer every night to maintain my smile, and today, I broke the retainer.

It cracked in my pocket when I fell down after the last push-up I did. Arghh!!! My dentist told me not to put it in the pocket, and yet I did that today due to some unusual circumstances and forgot about it until I hear the ominous "crack" sound.

Is this bad luck or just my absurd "blurness"?

I dropped things before and just two months ago, I accidentally fell to a drain when walking at night and got my leg lacerated. The injury required sutures to stop the bleeding although it was not so painful.

Now I have to spend money on the retainer, which costs similarly as an external hard disk, or a memory stick, or a mid-range graphics card (all of which I didn't buy), and will now be part of the living and tuition fees that I am leeching off my parents.

Yeah, I still haven't grown up.

This is sad.

My first embeded video in this blog!

2009-12-15T15:15:00.006+08:00

It has come to my attention that this blog is outdated (DUH!~), not just content-wise, but also the layout and presentation. You see, this blog was created way back in June 2006, when youtube was at its infancy and we use 4:3 aspect monitors (as opposed to widescreen).

While I am reluctant to get my hands dirty with the layout coding, I think it's time I put up a youtube video here.

Introducing THE GUILD, Web Series!

I came across this 'MTV' first while youtube browsing (very effective way to waste several hours of my life). Intrigued, I looked for the first episode and was hooked by its funny story about a girl addicted to online games.

A must-watch for those who played MMORPG before. :-)

Note: Hey I can't seem to make the layout wider. Oh well...

I totally Digg This!

2009-12-13T22:56:00.004+08:00

I found this when typing "lonely gay" in Google.

"Lonely Gay Teen Seeking Same " by Jeniffer Egan.

My favorite quote :

"[1] Among gay teenage boys, the attitude toward older men (known as oldies or sugar daddies) ranges from amusement to weary frustration over the fact that, rather than serving as friends and guides, the men seem to care only for sex.

[2]One boy I spoke with told me about an older man who'd tracked him down in his hometown after a conversation on the Internet. The boy eventually filed a restraining order against the man and still worries that he will be stalked again. "

Similar experience (as described in [1] ), and I can't help but LOL at the [2]

Top 3 Reasons I Stopped Blogging... (until now, for the moment)

2009-12-07T02:01:00.005+08:00

1) Egodystonic Perfectionism

Wikipedia Definition: A tendency to negatively evaluate outcomes and one's own performance, intense fear and avoidance of evaluation of one's abilities by others, heightened social self-consciousness and anxiety, recurrent low mood, and workaholism.

It's disturbing how the definition above actually sums up my personality. It explains my predisposition to procrastination, as well as my meticulous editing of each blog entry which consumed a lot of my time. Now that I have time to spare, I decided to publish what I've been reluctant to write in item 2 and 3 since 2007.

2) It's giving me depression!

As I got to know more people personally in the blogosphere, I find it increasingly hard to express certain facets of my feelings that has developed... until now that is. You see, the truth is, I feel really lonely as more and more people in the blogosphere started to get partners in life. This induces in me a craving for love, which has never been satiated (even until now, sigh), and has mutated into a mixture of bitterness, jealousy and depression. Go here if you want to see what I mean; it's one of the main reason I've eschewed blogging and reading blogs for two years.

3) There is something I don't know how to write/say!

I still don't know how to write about the Uncle to whom I have given a blowjob in my car, about 4 years ago. He found me though the blog and already has several young fuckbuddies. I was horny for affection and went second base with him, but I never intended to go further in the relationship with him.

Someone from UK once told me to have a life, to have all the fun I can have while I'm young, or else I will regret it when I'm old. He was basically telling me to go find girls to fuck (he doesn't know :P). "A person only regret things he did not do," he says.

This was in stark contrast to a statement from a chinese friend, who said that he had his first sex when he was young, which he find regretable now.

For years I have struggled whether I should just go have sex with that Uncle. I don't know whether it's fortunate or unfortunate, but I guess I am just too conservative, and still believe in finding true love no matter what the odds are. This 'belief' also lead me to believe that I will be a spinster, but that's another story/rant.

_________________________

Anyway, this is just a blog and who cares if it's not updated. Ok, maybe you care, if you're looking at this sentence in this blog on this screen. For that, I thank you for reading.

Maybe years from now I'll blog again here as a bitter old man lamenting how I should have just gone for open carnal sex.

Screaming Out!

2008-09-01T02:04:00.002+08:00

INHALE, MOUTH OPEN, LUNGS READY

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanna scream out!Scream! Scream!Scream Like I'm on Labour!

AAAARRRR!.......

Oh well.

Update. Update!

2007-10-15T19:09:00.000+08:00

It's been ages since I updated, even though the thought of writing a new post has always flashed in my mind, it was brushed away mostly by my indolence and insecurities that I don't really have anything good to write. Shall I bore the reader with my wanton whining and ramblings about my everyday life? Shall I put some interesting pictures hoping that it will generate more comments? Or is it possible for me to express my true feelings over the world wide web for everyone to see? No, I can't. There are always things that I'd rather keep it to myself, and therefore this blog was rendered useless as a medium to voice my opinions, as I would censor some of them anyway.

Many things happened since my last post, many places, many events, all of which excludes my non-existent love life. Since I entered the university I haven't been able to get a personal internet connection where I can blog in privacy. I was also too tired to blog. It takes me so much time to write and go through what I've written to ensure impeccability.

Non-the-less, I just want to inform anyone who stumbles to this dead blog that I am now doing one semester in the UK, after a brief stint as a trainee in a company during summer holidays.

To all my blogger friends, I'm sorry for not updating, despite having said that I will. I regret that I could not get in touch more with all of you. Hopefully you didn't forget me... cause I never have.

To all my Muslim friends, Happy Eid and Selamat Hari Raya. :)

Blog Reopened

2007-02-19T15:39:00.000+08:00

The wind blew sending dusts flying. "Cough!Cough!" A Spider Crawls Out, Follows By A Giant Scorpian "OMG!" revealing some ants, worms and maggots underneath. "EEW!!!"

And then IT appeared

"AAAaaaaaaa!!!" (Fag Shriek)

Wait. Choy Choy Choy, Dai Kat Lei Si (Chinese cliche when encountering something taboo)

It's Chinese New Year Already! While my blog is pretty much dead like a zomebie, may the new year magic revive this dusty old blog.

Transform! Transform!

"Hello, babe."

In the month of January, I was on a short holiday after my final semester exams so to maximize the time for enjoyment I didn't blog . Then when I wanted to blog I was shocked to find out that I commented with the Harvey account on a friend's blog. Oh, I finally committed that stupid mistake and I didn't realize it until the comment was approved and appeared on that friend's blog. I freaked out. So, to this friend of mine, if you bookmarked my blog and came here again despite my previous attempt to close this blog for one month, get out of here!

To those who came to this blog and was slapped with a "Only for authorized readers" message, I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. I was creating another blog actually, but since I realized there are quite a few blogs who has already linked to my blog here. Argh, I don't feel like changing my whole blog again.

Right now, I'm reviving this blog. Somehow I got the feeling that nobody really cares if my blog is dead, but nevertheless, you'll see me update mostly on a weekly basis.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

GONG XI FA CAI!!!

Everyone

A Blur New Year

2007-01-02T23:25:00.000+08:00

Gotta blog now, before my unstable internet connection deteriorates.

I didn't plan on doing anything this three-week holidays. It's supposed to be study break but um... Lazy lah! :P

The last two weeks of 2006 was mostly spent on completing the surprisingly short game of Final Fantasy XII, ~~amid my parents' nagging.~~ I watched the ending at 10pm, 2 hours before the countdown to the new year of 2007. Okay, if you don't know already, I have an addictive personality when it comes to games. When I started playing a game, I'd stop at nothing to get to the end of it as soon as possible. Aparrently there's no such thing as moderation for me. It's either Don't Play or Play Until I Die. For this FFXII, there was once when I slept after dinner, woke up at 2am and played until 12 in the afternoon the next day. I tend to immerse myself in the game, "zombifying" myself in the process.

Right after I'm done with the game, I went out with some friends for a countdown near my house where we can see the KLCC twin towers afar to see some fireworks. Much to our dismay, the fireworks didn't shoot as high as last year and were obstucted by the buildings surrounding it. I was shocked to know that my friends planned to spend the whole night awake after the countdown but I tagged along. We chit-chatted, went to cyber cafes, and played until 5.30am in the morning. We played Battlefield 2 and expectedly I sucked. (You can't expect a blur guy to excel in shooting games.)

I only had 3 hours of sleep before attending a bloggers "gay-thering" this Monday. Many thanks to David for organizing this. Due to lack of sleep, I actually became energized temporarily thoughout the gaythering. If I'd sleep more I'd be like Mrbunnyban who got weary at the end of our lunch. I left the party at around 5pm. David guided me on which platform to take, fully aware that I may take the wrong train like the previous time.

I bought the monorail ticket, inserted it into the machine, walked in and took the ticket out.

"I was pretty quiet during the gathering but I guess that's just me. Hopefully they don't mind, I also wish I could be talkative like defiant" The thought ran through my mind as I walked.

I inserted the card into the machine, walked out and "eh?" the ticket didn't come out. After 5 seconds, I realized that I've just walked in and out of the train station, and I had to buy the ticket again.

I spent the next day(Tuesday) sleeping like a pig and now I'm awake blogging as I discovered that I can access the blogger.

I'm looking forward to what's in store for me in this brand new year, whether it's good or bad, whether I myself will change for the better or worse.

Happy New Year! :)

p/s: OMG, the Internet's getting better! I can download porn!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!~

2006-12-26T15:51:00.000+08:00

Dear Everyone,

Hello, I'd like to share this funny letter from the internet (www.funnyjunk.com). Smile and Have a GREAT YEAR ahead!

Harvey

Urban Myth #4

2006-12-19T17:06:00.000+08:00

Warning: Disgusting information ahead

The Malays are required by religion to be circumcised when they're young.

Cockles originated from the foreskins that were cut and thrown into the rivers after their circumcision.

(Note: This false info didn't deter a female friend from enjoying her dish of spicy cockles with belacan)

HOLY DAY!~

2006-12-15T01:30:00.000+08:00

Holy, sacred days... ... that are not to be desecrated with STUDY.

Ho ho ho!

Let's see, I've bought home the laptop, some clothes, my shoes, lip balm...... I'm gonna stay at home, only going back to hostel next year....... Wait, ack! I forgot to get my phone charger from the hostel!

Holy, sacred BLUR days... ...

My Name's Harvey

2006-12-06T00:56:00.000+08:00

Interview

I went for a JPA interview last year. It was a group interview in which several candidates will sit around and discuss a topic while the interviewers listen. I was delighted when the topic was national service. Since I was enrolled in the three-month program before, I could keep blabbering about the experience I had. "That went well" I thought. But I turned down the scholarship offer. It wasn't what I wanted.

Recently I went for another interview. I didn't have high hopes for this. The two interviewers didn't seem to have prepared much questions. After I've finished answering a question they'd look out of the window and ponder on the next questions to ask. Not wanting the awkward silence to ensue, I mentioned that I joined the national service program. It seems that my experience at the national service serves as a good ice breaker.

Orphanage visit

This is unprecedented. I've never went to an orphanage before and I wanted to do some charity. I grabbed the chance to do so in the weekend as my club held such a visit. It's the first time I'm staying in the campus during the weekends too as the visit is on a Saturday morning. We went to the orphanage, played games with the children and gave a somewhat horrible performance of two christmas songs to the kids (coz we didn't rehearse). The small boys, mostly indians, are surprisingly good, cheerful and obedient. I guess they've really become more independent as they're not spoilt by parents. A kid even insisted on sweeping the floor with the only broom available even though we offered our help.

Surprise

Just a few days later, I received a great news. I got the scholarship! It's a 50% off my tuition fees and that really halved my parents burden as we saved around 10k per year. I feel great! ~~Now I can spend those money like crazy.~~ I believe it's kinda like karma, my past national service experience and my small charity work has brought me this.

And about karma, my negligence to my assignments which I should have done so much earlier is giving me a serious headache for this and next week,

after which I'd be on holiday!

Battery Epidemic / Cat dog

2006-12-02T18:40:00.000+08:00

Mom calls last Friday afternoon.

Mom: I'm stuck in Uncle X's house, can't start the car. Nobody's home to fetch you back from the train station. You'll have to come back later at 7.

I recorded my screechy banshee voice while waiting for my friend to finish his class and fetch me to a train station. I wanted to have something creepy in my phone after the shadow ghost incident.

---------------

On Sunday, My mom and I went shopping to replenish my food supply for the weekdays in uni. We were going home and my mom had difficulty starting the car. I tried starting it myself only ended up triggering the alarm with no idea how to turn it off. "Eow! Eow!" Luckily a Samaritan came and taught us how to switch off the alarm, and as he twitch the car keys miraculously the engine started.

---------------

My sister and her collegue came to my university on Tuesday for some business meeting, and guess what, her collegue's car couldn't start when they're leaving the university. We had to wait for the mechanic to come while I had early dinner with them and gave them a tour of my room.

---------------

I read blogs on Thursday (couldn't do much blogging nowdays as you can see), and found that kekex and annie came across the same predicament.

---------------

I can't start my own engine to do the 3 courseworks on my hand, and there are two tests next week. Okay, this is kinda unrelated and it happens all the time. But what an epidaemic!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You Are: 40% Dog, 60% Cat

You and cats have a lot in common.
You're both smart and in charge - with a good amount of attitude.
However, you do have a very playful side that occasionally comes out!

Are You More Cat or Dog?

That's quite true, heh! :)

Shadow ghost

2006-11-26T03:40:00.000+08:00

I went to have a drink (yamcha) with a group of friends in the dead of night (around 2 am) and on the way back to campus, one friend, D, told us of a supernatural thing that happened in his friend's hostel room.

The owner who stays in that single room took a random picture with his camera phone and found a humanoid shadow on the wall that wasn't supposed to be there. D and the other friend who were there in the room thought he edited that picture but there's no way the owner could have done that with the camera phone. I wasn't sure about the whole story but D mentioned that they used another camera to take the picture which got the silhoutte in it also.

Anyway we were curious and we went to that owner's room ( All of us live on the same floor) . The owner wasn't sleeping and he let us see the picture. It shows the back of D, who was using the owner's laptop and beside him, there was a silhouette on the wall. It is black in colour and does not look like normal shadow. And there was another video taken the next day which shows the silhouette moving, kinda like an inanimated object, actually. He tried taking more pictures of the room but he didn't get the silhouette.

Our university campus maybe haunted because there were many locals who were tortured and killed by the Japanese army during the war at the woods where the university was built.

There's a small possibility that both D and the owner were lying and put the silhoutte in the video and picture. But why go through all that trouble? D didn't seem comfortable talking about it either. He's just as creeped out as us. And the owner still sleeps in the room as long as that "thing" doesn't disturb him.

Wow, either way, that was the first time I saw an actual picture and video of a "ghost" on camera. Not those on media, but on real life! I searched the net prior to writing this post and I found that shadow ghost is a supernatural phenemenon that happens worldwide. Some people can see it from the corner of their eyes, and more captured them on film and camera, like the case of my friend. And that incident happened at the night of Halloween!

I don't think I'm gonna get and post the camera phone picture. It's up to the owner and the ghost pictures on the web are already disturbing enough.

Seeing A Rainbow

2006-11-26T02:56:00.000+08:00

On my way ~~home~~ back to campus last Sunday, I saw a rainbow on the sky from the moving train. Interesting, I thought, as I had just posted the rainbow poem two days before. What could that mean? Am I gonna "Oh gasp!" get lucky somehow this week? Hmm... nah. It means nothing. I was sceptical, and I was right, kinda.

I believe I have a twisted mind nowadays, or at least a twisted sense on love. I'm having a weird crush on this straight guy in university and I didn't feel anything wrong or sad about it. I say weird because I enjoy being with him, I enjoy talking to him, the feeling of just seeing him, being with him puts me on cloud nine. But I can't say whether it's really a crush, love, or anything. Sometimes he felt more like a little brother I never had. Haha. It's different from the first crush I had on a straight guy in secondary school. This university guy is more approachable and we got to be more "friendly" with each other. I mean, good friends, with things to talk about.

The thing is, I don't expect him to like me, I don't expect him to be gay. I don't need to. And this is good I think. Perhaps this is the Ego in me talking. It would hurt more if he's gay and he wouldn't like me due to my unflattering appearance and personality. And then he would get a boyfriend because he is hot anyway and I'm just gonna be lonely and depressed.

Suffice to say, my state of mind nowadays is not in a state of the pretty rainbow, but this:

My boring Life

2006-11-19T02:43:00.000+08:00

Everything's the same for me these days, lectures and mundane ~~school~~ university coursework which I'm procrastinating. Everything except the entertainment I enjoyed.

I was addicted to Rise of Legends since I installed it last Sunday. Been playing it non-stop until the third and final campaign when my old laptop starts having troubles rendering the graphics and sounds smoothly without being stuck for 1 minute intermittently (I swear the laptop was about to burst out of exasperation if I keep running that intensive game)

Model for the ~~latest~~ oldest GUESS watch

Now as I'm blogging in the middle of night (almost 3 am in the morning) I just wanna shout "Deperate Housewives rocks!!!" I had a wonderful time watching the 7th episode titled Bang. Never have I watched such a thrilling, shocking and yet, at the same time, hilarious drama that entertained me so much that I completely forgot all the stress from my piling courseworks and upcoming exam. Ah, I can safely says it's one of the best episode I've watched so far, and it's worth the trouble to download the season 3 episodes even though I can only do that in the weekends when I'm at home, with a private internet connection that doesn't ban bt.

Anyway, towards the end of the show that I was so engrossed on, suddenly there was a scene, or rather, a dialogue, that hits right into my heart.

Lynette:...What's the matter with you?

Carolyn: Have you not been paying attention? My husband cheated on me!

Lynette: Who cares. Who cares!!! We all have pain, everyone in here has pain but we deal with it, we swallow it, and get going with our life, but what we don't do is go around shooting strangers!

Hmm... yeah, that's what I do, I deal with my pain, I swallow it, and get going with my life. But sometimes I think too much and only end up with self-inflicted mental anguish. Nevertheless, I'm dealing with it and I hope I'm not gonna go crazy. Of course, I think I should be alright as long as I'm aware that I might go crazy (Read an article about someone being told by a psychiatrist that he's not going crazy as long as he thinks he's going crazy, or sth like that). Speaking of guns, why is it that americans can still have guns in their home given that so many tragedies happened because of that? Now I'm wondering whether Annie has a gun in her drawer. Ok... I'm thinking too much.

Anyway, I guess this pretty much sums up my boring life, with not-so-boring little stuffs like games and shows to occupy my time.

Yawn~ Goodnight.

Rainbow In the Sky

2006-11-17T13:46:00.000+08:00

Searching
for a rainbow in the bright blue sky
with wings to fly
so high

But Why
comes torrential rains
that knows no pain
like a deluge of acid
splashing shards and flying fragments
swirling and blowing to a violent cyclone
devouring everything

No
It's there but I can't reach
the colours of the wind
distorted, disfigured

Tears
flooding sea
Blood
freezing glacier
amid the calamity
I'm not sure
It's still
All that's left is no more
All that's desiderated
All that's gone
With the rainbow in the sky

Urban Myth #3

2006-11-13T10:40:00.000+08:00

Overstressed high school male students

Strip a guy a day

Pictures!!!

2006-11-08T22:28:00.000+08:00

"The mountain looks kinda low", I thought. How wrong was I.

Oooo, waterfall.

Some guys frolicking in the water, too bad I can't join them.

But I can shoot them.

Another waterfall. yawn

And lots of trees.

With creepy crawly roots

Yay, Annie, I can shoot blurred trees too.

Rapid stream after a heavy rain in the evening. So warcraft-like.

Gasp! Snake!

I reached the peak only to see this tablet thingy.

Torturous Hiking

2006-11-07T18:33:00.000+08:00

When the dawn began to break in the salubrious Saturday morning, I hopped onto the bus to take part in a mountain hiking trip. We hit the road up the path as we passed by several cascading waterfalls with the deluge of water collapsing on the massive boulders, sending dribbles of water to fly assunder. There were people swimming in the icy cold water but we marched on as we ventured deeper into the forest. The sunlight was penetrating through the canopy of gigantic trees that stood rooted to the ground. I took a deep breath inhaling the fresh air, as the thunderous roar of the waterfalls and rapid stream can still be heard in the distance.

Then there were more trees...

more water...

And the path became steeper and more perilous...

I panted breathlessly.

I stretched my right leg up and "piak!"my short pants tore. Had to climb with my legs closed as I wasn't wearing an underwear before I finally decided to seize a chance to stop and wear the long pants I bought surreptitiously.

It was after 5 hours of rigorous climbing that we managed to reach the campsite. And the journey is just halfway done. We took a rest and had our simple dinner before we continued the treacherous trip at 1 am the next day to reach the summit and see the sunrise.

This took us another 6 hours to reach the top, and I cried a tear of joy but as fate would have it, the sun was obstructed by the haze and I found the peak of the mountain plain and ugly. We could see nothing but haze from the top, although the cold ambience was refreshing.

At that time, I was terribly exhausted. My legs were sore, my toenails were painful, and I was drenched in sweat and dirt, but I had no choice but to descend from the mountain with the group after only one or two hours of resting.

I didn't know how did I muster the strength to climb down the mountain. It was easier to climb down but it was also damaging to the legs expecially the kneecaps as we had to pratically jump down step by step. The cold and blustery morning came to life with bees and ants coming out but I felt as if I paid for the trip to be tortured in HELL.

We had hiked for around 20 hours in total within two days and all this while I had to carry my heavy bag and some other stuff like the tent and rubbish along the journey.

As we descended the mountain we saw a troop of (cute and hunky) soldiers climbing up the mountain and the ranger said they had to reach the summit within 2 hours from the camp site as they carry a gun and rocks in their bag. I have another friend who was in the scouts and he climbed another mountain with was so much higher than mine for 3 days.So from another perspective, the suffering I endured was not as great as them, but I survived this ordeal with a sorethroat and a fever and limping legs. Every step I took I was in my mind moaning "Ouch! Ouch! Ouch..!".

It's wednesday now and I got a bit better but I am still sick and uncomfortable. I wanted to get a new experience by joining this hiking trip but apparently I wasn't fit enought for this and it was so much more physically demanding than the national service that I attended.

(Pics in the next post)

Bizarre Birthday

2006-10-30T01:04:00.000+08:00

"Today's your birthday right, wanna go celebrate ?"

"Sure, I'm gonna call people then. Can you help me call some of them? Where should we go?"

"You're the birthday boy. Just do nothing and wait for us to fetch you later at night, okay?"

Hmm... I can't forget the last sentence he said to me. And I had a wonderful birthday this year with this bunch of friends, who surprised me with a cake they bought.

And it's our turn to celebrate his birthday this Saturday.

We went to One Utama to watch a movie. We managed to find a parking spot as soon as we got there as someone was leaving. We're really lucky, I thought. I watched another movie, Stormbreaker (they should just name it Spy Teenager), last Monday and it took us 30 minutes to find a parking space.

Since I watched the preview of the Covenant and I totally loved the special effects, I recomended that we watch this movie as there was a special sneak-preview secreening. The movie officially opens on 2 Nov and we get to watch it that day, how good is that? Not good actually. First we waited for around one hour for the uncollected reservation seats to be opened to public (30 minutes before the movie starts) and by the time I was at the counter, there weren't many seats left. But since I was eager to watch that movie I bought all 5 seats that were separated from each other. That costed me RM 50. My friends and I waited for another 20 minutes for the movie to start outside the cinema and when I took out the tickets. I realized one ticket was missing. I remembered that I was going to distribute the tickets so I tore a ticket out (the tickets are stuck to each other like stamps) but I didn't as my friends told me to wait till we're entering the cinema.

I panicked, kept searching and rummaging through my pockets and wallet. There were 5 of us and we only had 4 tickets. I went to the queue and was going to buy another ticket when they stopped me as they discussed and decided not to watch the movie. I was so sorry and embarassed. I could be so blur that I can lose a ticket I was holding while standing outside a cinema doing nothing but watching movie previews on the tv screens there.

I felt so damn bad as we went window-shopping instead of watching the movie. I told them to go watch the movie without me but they said it's okay as they only lost RM 10 each. I totally screwed up the person's birthday.

Then as 3 of us was sitting in front of a music store while the other two went in to browse around....

" Look!" The one sitting pointed somewhere as the other two was leaving the store. I looked at the direction of his pointing finger and only saw two twins wearing pink dress with a skirt that looks like boa.

"Look! Look!" I looked again and realized there was something blue on the floor.

"1 ringgit! For our carpark fee. Lol" The pointing friend said. The other two looked at the floor and didn't dare to pick up the money.

One of them said " It's FIVE ZERO"

Another weird thing that happened is that a Malay woman sitting next to us told the guy to just pick up the money. "Ambilah" she said. Maybe she didn't know that it's a friggin 50 ringgit note! My friend picked up the money and we decided to wait for half an hour for the owner to come, who we thought would be coming to the front of the shop looking at the floor frantically.

30 minutes passed. The owner didn't come, or at least we didn't find anyone examining the floor.

I was given the 50 ringgit note and so in the end we didn't suffer any financial losses.

RM 50 out. Rm 50 in. Weird huh?

BTW, we put this incident behind us as we celebrated with a birthday cake for that friend. It's like a tradition for us to celebrate birthdays at Mcdonald's at night this year. Haha. We even borrowed lighter and the paper plates and plastic spoons from the staff, like what we did when we celebrate my birthday. Only after finishing the cake we realized there was a sign showing "No Outsider Food Allowed" on top of the wall.

(I'm lazy to put on nicknames for the other 4 friends. They're not the Jocker Jack and Donald Duck I mentioned. I hope this post isn't confusing for you all. If it is, please lemme know.)

A Whole New World

2006-10-24T20:56:00.000+08:00

I didn't think I'll do this unless I'm er... a bit older, probably when I can live independently. I planned to do this when I got my body buffed up like Spiderman, when I got Lasik so that I don't have to wear glasses like Cyclop, when I had undergone operation on my vampire teeth (I'm not wearing braces because that would require painful extraction of my two teeth on the side). Oh what the heck, I didn't think I'll be able to pull this off unless I'm emotionally and physically ready.

But somehow, there were two signs telling me to do it. First in one tv show called Hot Properties (featuring 4 beautiful women which oddly I enjoyed watching) then in a newspaper article I happened to come across. Add that with an eccentric dream that the One is looking for me too digitally and I started to entertain the thought of venturing into a whole new world. A notorious world said to be full of deceive and promiscuities, no thanks to the abundance of perverts and sex seekers prowling the world wide web. I shall enter the world of Online Dating.

Before I created the account at a gay dating site, I asked for Kyle's opinion, who told me that he was so frustrated with the jerks he came across in the Internet that he changed his profile into a petite drag queen. Oh well, what he said gave me the flash forward that I too will be frustrated and change my profile into a drag queen. (Harvey- The Drag Queen, Anyone?) But for now, I just wanna give this a try.

After my account was newly created, I got some visitors. Oh, and there's an email saying "Hello." from a caucasian who's coming to Malaysia at the end of the year. "When you're in axcest long enough, you know that a hello means an invitation for sex," Kyle explained matter-of-factly through the MSN messenger."And those visitors are probably checking out the fresh meat." I decided not to reply to the two "Hello" emails I received, and just wait and see. "You can just see the world for yourself, and blog about it." Kyle gave another piece of advice, which I followed. :P

I browsed through the profiles, and the more pictures I look at, the more inferiour I felt. There are quite a lot of cute gay guys, although some pictures (naked ones especially) looked like they were ripped off from porns. No wonder the media stereotyped gays as good-looking hunks, saying that all decent males are either married, or gay. I felt more and more ugly, and I didn't dare to put a clear picture of mine.

Then I checked out the web chat at 2 am in the morning. Yes, I've been sleeping late during these few holidays because my internet will only be suitable for casual surfing in the middle of the night; at the day it sucks (pages cannot load most of the time). There were several interesting people there, all nice and friendly. No crazy people having dirty online sex orgies or sth. And I got to know someone who lived near my home, and that someone happens to know a blogger friend personally and from there I managed to find other blogger friends to add them as buddies. What a small world. But then things went a bit faster than I thought as that someone (I'll call him G) proposed that we go yam cha (drink tea) the next day. I didn't object to the idea, G does live nearby and it's convenient for us to go have a drink, although I barely knew him. But the plan got cancelled in the end as he said he couldn't finish his assignment.

And here I am typing this post to avoid doing my lab report which is due this Thursday. I am so good at procrastinating when at home. :P

-------------------------------

Guess what I smelled last week!!!

The deluge of smoke from preparing water pipe
The smell of menstruation from a girl I sat pretty close to
My borther's cum on a big rounded scrunched up tissues

Happy Deepavali and Hari Raya

2006-10-21T19:06:00.000+08:00

Meet Little Harvey. I drew this myself and I figure it would be better to use a display picture that I can call it my own, now that I'm putting my profile back up. He's either a dog, a pig or a rabbit without whiskers; I'm not sure.

This is him in his rare wake-up state.

Coz most of the time he's enjoying a good nap.

I'm having holidays (Yay!) with 3 courseworks to do(Aw!). Happy Deepavali and Hari Raya to everyone. It's great to have festive season in Malaysia.

Who is your one and only? love calculator^_^

2006-10-18T23:37:00.000+08:00

Butterflies in your stomach when you catch sight of that special someone?

Is it lust or is it true love? Will it work out or will it be just another futile attempt?

Before you pop the all important "I love you", use our Crush Calculator to find out if he or she is The One!

CrushCalculator

Harvey's Grandma Johnson's Scones

2006-10-14T18:30:00.000+08:00

When I started my baking frenzy, I was looking at the top 10 bread recipe from allrecipes.com when I came across Grandma Johnson's Scones. Without an idea what a scone is, I was motivated to try out this recipe due to its high ratings, although the photo of the baked product submitted by the users didn't make it look very appealing. They look like deformed cookies.

Anyway I procrastinated and only waited until today to try it out because my packet of sour cream exceeded its expiry date (4th of Oct) but I still used the sour cream anyway coz it wasn't cheap and it didn't smell fragrant. Seriously, the sour cream expired but I think it's still edible. No molds or creepy crawly creatures inside.

Anyway, I didn't bother to knead the whole mixture; I relied solely on my stand mixer and shaped the gooey dough into round rolls. Took me less than 2 hours. Despite my lack of effort, I'm happy that the end result wasn't a fiasco. It was not bad at all. It's crunchy on the outside and spongy on the inside with a heavenly butter taste. Kinda like cookie-coated cake.

I just hope I'm not getting a stomach ache.

Edit: Ate two piece. No stomach ache, no diarrhea, no nothing, so far so good. :)

Laugh And Grow Fat

2006-10-14T01:17:00.000+08:00

I was getting into the gym in my uni when LO AND BEHOLD (!), probably the most muscular guy on campus was pumping iron. He's 6-foot tall with a body and face that'll put the Greek God to shame. I restrained myself from ogling at him as I did some exercise and I couldn't help but overheard bits and pieces of the conversation between him and the other friend, who was admonishing this hunk not to work out so much.

The hunk repeated doing the bicep curls and the friend told him " Enough already la, you're gonna make it too big"

The friend showed his arms " See, this is more normal... yours is like...too much"

The hunk defended himself " I got the height... so it's okay"

I sniggered in my heart.

"You're gonna regret you know, when you get old and have no time to excercise, your arms are gonna like go soft and become .... yuck"

The hunk continued to work out for over an hour.

"Don't do that anymore, you're making it even bigger" the friend squealed.

"I know what I'm doing, okay? I'm not making it bigger." the hunk defended himself.

Perhaps getting too muscular is not exactly that great a deal. Instead of getting admirers swarming around him, I'm amused that the hunk got a nagger had the word "Sour Grapes" written all over his face. It's scary and intimating too, as I saw him lifting the 10 kg dumbells up and down displaying his super-bulgy biceps which was probably around 6 inch thick. If I have a choice, I don't mind being like him though. Haha, super hunky Harvey! But then apart from rigorous excercise and protein-rich diet, I'll need to alter my DNA to promote muscle growth and fat reduction. I am still scawny as ever, and I totally blame it on my genes. My dad and bro are skinny when they're at my age too, then they got bigger (and fatter) at their mid-20s.

For now, people usually tell me to "Eat more! Your're so skinny."

This Blog Is Not GAY Enough

2006-10-08T01:56:00.000+08:00

For a gay, he has extra problems compared to the straights. Other than the difficulty in finding love, it's impossible to get a happily-married-together life (except in the UK) with a family of their own.... children, grandchildren, great grandchildren... and so on. Some find it hard to accept themselves, their "despicable" sexual orientation. They're afraid of being shunned, isolated, or bashed for being gay, for being who they are. And thus, most prefer to live in the closet, and it gets harder and harder to come out, as they hide deeper and deeper into the closet, in which they presumed to be the safe zone from the homophobic society.

I didn't think I'd come out until I can live on my own, until I'm independent, so that if my family and friends are to desert me for my homosexual orientation, I don't have to be so miserable. I mentioned that I have friends, close friends. Two of the closer ones are Joker Jack and Donald Duck, I knew them since secondary school, and we always hang out with each other almost every week, even until now. In the beginning, we went for a drink (yam cha) every weekend, then we Dota (playing game in cyber cafe) weekly, and after that, due to financial constraints, we move on to playing free private server of Ragnarok Online. I didn't know our relationship would last so long, and it hurts me to assume that once they know about my sexual orientation, I would lose the friendship. Over the years, I've shared a lot of thoughts especially with Joker Jack, except that one queer thing. I thought I don't have to come out to them... but it seems that our relationship didn't die down as I expected it to be.

It grew.

One night, I was contemplating on whether I should tell him that I'm gay when I was in his car. We were bored and we started singing. His car parked outside my house.(long story cut short) He insisted that I tell him what's in my mind.

Me: Do you really wanna know?

JJ:Whatever's in your mind, just tell me. I've told you a lot of things also.

Me: Even if it'll change you?

JJ:How will it change me, unless you're saying you like guys. Just tell me, I won't say it to anyone else.

That was when I said it out.

Me: I'm gay.

To my surprise, he didn't seemed surprised.

Me: So, if you're scared of me or don't want to be friends anymore, I understand.

JJ: What are you saying? We're still friends. And don't worry, I still treat you as a good friend.

Me: I just thought I should let you know. You're a true friend, and you deserve to know. I don't want to keep lying to you.

JJ: Aww... you think I'm your true friend, I'm touched. I guess I've always known... You're like 80% male, 20% female. You're not 50:50 or you'll be like a sissy.

Towards the end of the conversation, I told him not to tell anyone.

JJ: Don't worry, everyone already knows you're a gay lah (from your behaviour).

Ok, I didn't exactly feel relieved after coming out to him. I just felt that this is something that I should have done long time ago. I don't know whether our relationship will ever be the same, and I can't say I'm not worried. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. Joker Jack was the one who assured me that he's not homophobic. Okay, he said he may not like gays so much, but he knew me, he knew who I am, and he wouldn't dislike me for being gay.

Now talk about being gay, I am indeed in the same class with Lecherous Lex. We're not roomates, but we're pretty much seeing each other every weekday. And I forgot to mention that he was also in the class reunion I recently attended. During that reunion, one girl commented to me that he's too sissy. " I am sissy too." I proclaimed. "Yeah... you are, but not as much." she replied. I'm not one to judge, but this explains why I sometimes feel rather uncomfortable as I talk to him. His mannerisms reminds me that I may be sissy too.... and I just couldn't stand that. I know, as a gay, I shouldn't feel that way (being uncomfortable). In fact, I've been very friendly to him, asking him out for lunch and dinner (in the cafeteria) and go to the gym(in university) with him. (We're pretty much stucked in this university that's situated in a rather remote area) I was a bit dissapointed that he didn' turn out to be a hunk, and he didn't seem to be interested in me (coz I didn't turn out to be a hunk either). I guess I'm never lucky when it comes to love.

It's been two weeks, and so far, the queer topic has not arised between us. I know both of us are afraid of going to the "I am gay" conversation. Hence, no groin-fondling eiher. I've been leading a rather straight life (and writing a straight blog) until yesterday when I came out to a straight friend, for the very first time. (Come to think of it, my first and only sex was in a car too.)

Whether this will alleviate my extra problems of being gay, I don't know. I only know that I'm kinda lucky to have won the first price of a lucky draw in a dinner party on that same day before I came out. :P

I'm An Average Joe

2006-10-05T16:55:00.000+08:00

Your EQ is 93

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

2006-10-01T02:56:00.000+08:00

University is not as hectic as I expected it to be. Sure, there are lots of assignments to do. But I loved the schedule (3 to 4 hours of lecture in the morning) and I simply loved (and sometimes hated) the fact that I've already studied some of the topics in A-levels. On one hand it's like revision; On the other hand it feels like a sheer waste of time. And even though I know how to do the questions already, I'll still get the answers wrong anyway (thanks to my "blurness"). Making mistakes is my forte, wahahaha.... sigh

The lecturer told us that only the friends we make in the university will be our friends for life, but I digress. I actually still have remained close friends with several of my secondary school friends. We went out for a drink (Yam Cha), going to the cinema, or just hanging out. Yeah, I'm glad I have a fair amount of social life, considering that I've always been socially inept especially when I was young.

I remembered walking through a dark alley in my primary school, alone, and realized how lonely I was, and somehow felt that I'm condemned to a life of eternal solitude. That memory was rekindled as I attended my primary school class reunion recently. It was like watching Rugrats: All Grown Up! . Everyone grew so much. Some of the guys had become so damn tall and hunky, making me wonder what have I (and my body) has been doing for the past 7 years. How come I didn't get that freaking huge biceps, or that broad bulgy chest? Oh, I know, I didn't exercise, and almost never play sports (can't play anything that involves a ball). Gah!

Anyway, there is this guy. He sat beside me on the first day at primary school and he's the first person I knew in school. He used to accompany me to the canteen during recess after I passed the exams with flying colours at standard 3. I was an average performer before that, probably because I didn't wear glasses then. I told him that being a loner, I was not used to having someone eating with me. We ate together for a few days, then I don't remember what happened after that. Our relationship strained due to my natural friends-repellent property, i guess.

I saw him at the reunion that day and he looks pretty good (so wanna "eat" him if he's "in my league") .I talked to him but he seemed distant. "Um...Do you actually remember who I am?" I asked. "I don't have a clear memory of you......" he answered, giving a nervous smile. Now I really wanna eat him.

Oh well, back to walking alone on the alley to the university IT lab, doing assignment by myself.

Urban Myth #2

2006-09-30T18:20:00.000+08:00

Females are more aggressive than the males in campus hostels.

A guy received invitation for free sex

from a caucasian woman.

Harvey's Shitsants

2006-09-24T00:42:00.000+08:00

Caution: Pics may cause side effects ranging from tingling sensations to nausea.

Alright, I wanted to make some croissants after reading Ru's post. (Ru, I would have followed your recipe if I know how to measure pints and ounces.) I googled and found a simple recipe. It's really easy and I can cheat by letting my stand mixer do all the heavy job, although the taste will probably not be that good without the folding process. This is the first time, I thought I'll probably fail anyway, so I'd rather try out this simple way of making croissants before venturing to a more advanced level.

I was right. Somehow the dough was unkneadable. I couldn't turn it into a flat circle. The "thing" I made is SO elastic that it's like rubber. Frustrated, I resorted to rolling and twisting them piece by piece hoping to get that "croissants" look. But, instead.... they look like feces.

I call them Shitsants.

Hmm.... and there're 5 of them.

They didn't taste like shit though. They actually taste like normal bread.

Fortunately I only used 1/3 of the dough to make those shissants. The remaining ones were turned into shapes they should look like.

Harvey's buns!

They're edible and healthy, and my mom loves it when I put jam inside.

I failed in making croissants, but I succeeded in making buns.

What Is Varsity?

2006-09-20T21:34:00.000+08:00

My baking fad ended as I'm entering a sighnificant phase of my life. "I have to be independent, I have to learn to cook, I have to study hard," I thought before entering the university.

I am staying in the campus's hostel, away from home, away from civilisation. However, I don't think I'll be feeling homesick at all. Not that my home is like hell, or that the university is a heaven full of fun activities to join, I can always get back home from the university within two hours.

Next, I found it easier and cheaper to just eat at the cafeteria. It would be a hassle to prepare the ingredients, cutleries, and rice cooker just to cook up a meal, considering the fact that my university is situated in the middle of nowhere, pretty far from a small town, which means it's impossible to shop whenever I want.

And my course only starts next week, so I psyched myself up to be in a study mood way too early.

So much for living independently, learning to cook, and stuying hard.

The Fabulous Baker Boy

2006-09-17T00:19:00.000+08:00

To spend my free time to the fullest, as my (HOLI) days are numbered, I decided to glue less to the computer and be more productive. Of course, I still took the time sleeping and watching the final season of Will & Grace (Thank you, Kekex, it's brilliant!) and now, FRIENDS season 10 (laughed till my stomach cramps). This explains my sporadic presence at the blogosphere these days.

I turned to doing something I've never really done before--- BAKING.

It started when my chef-to-be-friend agreed to baking a birthday cake for me. I helped and realized that cake-making is easier than I thought. ~~It's like having sex.~~ Then when I went to Australia and saw Counfusticated whipping out "orgasmic-inducing" brownies within an hour or two, I resolve to bake on my own in the future, and bake I did.

So I searched the Internet for a simple recipe and I found the low-fat banana bread. I followed the recipe and did everything on my own (despite my mom's discouragements like "Don't eat so much baked goods , they're full of sugar" and "Don't mess up my kichen.") . I even resorted to using a fruit juicer to blend the ingredients as I didn't have an electronic mixer that time, thanks to my sister who previously managed to overheat and break two mixers when she baked for fun, like me, after her SPM exams. Needless to say, the first attempt at baking for a blur guy like me is condemned to failure.

I thought I need to bake at 350 degrees but when I look at the oven, the maximum degree I can bake at is 250.

I opted for 250 anyway, not knowing that the "350" was in Farenheit and 250 celcius is for roasting meat. The bread was done within 15 mins instead of an hour.

The second time, after buying a RM37 (around 12 dollars) mixer from Carrefour, I made this banana bread again, which I overcooked. I got comments like "Did you put herbs inside?", "Put less coco powder" and "It's like eating burnt bananas".

Then I tried my hands on making shortbreads, which turned out to be another time-consuming fiasco. I spent the whole night making the shapes on the baking paper one by one, and baking them in my cheap oven, only to find most of them extremely delicate and fragile. Touch it and you'll break it.

But the rest of my attempts were rather succesful.

Low-fat banana bread

Moist Banana bread with sour cream

Apparently Sour Cream is pretty rare in Malaysia. They have to explain what it is.

One step closer to being a Fabulous Baker Boy!

March of The Shortbreads

2006-09-14T14:55:00.000+08:00

Crumbling Carcasses

Dwindling Survivors

2006-09-07T16:40:00.000+08:00

Lazy Harvey: Oh dear, not another post to write! Oh, the soulless drudgery, the arduous toiling in blood and tears!

Hardworking Harvey: Now, this blog hasn't been updated for ages (1 week) and we own it to the readers (if any) and ourselves that we write about what happened since we came back from Australia.

Lazy Harvey: I'd rather sleep. zzZZZ

Hardworking Harvey: Or do some work.

Lazy Harvey: Not that we haven't worked. It's so tiring after watching so many movies, drama series, animes, and porn. What a strenuous effort that requires undivided attention.

Hardworking Harvey: That is why we should blog instead. Isn't it boring just doing nothing but play, play, play? I mean, come on, we've watched like a bazillions of stuff already.

Lazy Harvey: Nah, it's nothing. We've only watched uh.... Oh, forget it, squeezing our brain..murdering those poor little braincells..... is a sacrilegious crime!

Hardworking Harvey: The end justify the means, my dear. Besides, there hasn't been much blood-circulation in the brain to provide a hospitable environment to the cells anyway. Now, not including all those gay porns, we've watched...

Monster House
Snakes On A Plane
Click
The Wild
Memoirs Of a Geisha
Legally Blonde 2
Will & Grace, season 1 and 7
Tsubasa Chronicle
Bleach
Yakitate Japan (finished)

Lazy Harvey: See, that's not a lot.

Hardworking Harvey: Well, we've also listened to some illegally downloaded music.

Lazy Harvey: Yeah, as much as I hate to admit that, I found Paris Hilton's songs lovely. If not for her mediocre voice and stupid lyrics, I think the catchy tunes are top-notch, at least they got me listening to every songs without skipping. It was such an elephantine task to skip songs in Christina Aguilera's newest album, in search of a good song.

Hardworking Harvey: Well, we did manage to find one, Save Me From Myself. Hey, we really need to save ourselves from rotting like this. We had achived nothing these days. So empty, so...

Lazy Harvey: Wonderful! Ah, we're starting uni another one week anyway. Let's waste time to the fullest! BTW, we did achive something, we've just failed in baking a banana bread, and done the unmentionable.

Hardworking Harvey: Shhh.... you're not supposed to say that.

Lazy Harvey: Oh, yeah. But who cares, it's your job to write about "that" anyway.

Hardworking Harvey: I don't know how to write about what happened... I was planning to write a narrative about it, something like a literature, Shakespeare if you will, but I realized my English is not good enough for that.

Lazy Harvey: What the heck! Why take so much trouble? Nevermind, just relax and focus on something you can do. It's raining now and the air is cool. Let's have a cozy nap.

Hardworking Harvey: Oh dear, not another nap to sleep through! Oh, the soulless drudgery, the arduous toiling in blood and tears!

Loss of virginity

2006-09-01T22:00:00.000+08:00

From Wikipedia.

The act of losing one's virginity, that is, of a first sexual experience, is commonly considered within Western culture to be an important life event and a rite of passage. It is highlighted by many mainstream Western movies (particularly films aimed at a teenaged audience). The loss of virginity can be viewed as a milestone to be proud of or as a failure to be ashamed of (particularly if a lack of self control was involved), depending on cultural perceptions. Historically, these perceptions were heavily influenced by perceived gender roles, such that for a male the association was more often with pride and for a female the association was more often with shame. (See Double standard.) However, in recent years in Western culture, the influence of gender roles has weakened so that it is now much more common for females to experience pride, although fathers are still often portrayed as being disapproving of and highly concerned about the loss of virginity for their daughters.

The partner during the loss of virginity is sometimes colloquially said to "take" the virginity of the virgin partner. In some places, this colloquialism is only used when the partner is not a virgin, but in other places, the virginity of the partner does not matter. The archaic term "deflower" is sometimes used in modern times to also describe the act of the virgin's partner, and the clinical term "defloration" is another way to describe the event.

More Aussie Photos

2006-08-29T20:57:00.000+08:00

If only I have a camera phone, then I can shoot Aussie hotties blatantly.

And inspired by Annie's post on photography, I tried shooting something more "artsy". And this is what I got.

What Is Australia? (Part 2)

2006-08-27T21:11:00.000+08:00

Watched Friends for the whole day at Silentside's place.

Melbourne Museum, the best museum I've ever been to, watched how babies were born.

BBQ Party at Damien's place and watched Rose Red, a horror movie about a house, until 3 am.

Sightseeing at the city

Free City Circle Tram

State Library At Night

Public Art At NewQuay

RMIT University

China Town at Little Bourke Street

Melbourne Visitor Centre

Melbourne Aquarium

City Square (I think)

Yarra River

Melbourne University

A robot going to the middle of the Treasury Gardens to investigate suspicious rubish bins.

This is when my camera's battery died down with the lens protruding.

Accidentally deleted all pictures in my 256mb memory card.

Managed to salvage 80% of them with Smart Flash Recovery.

Urban Myth #1

2006-08-24T14:09:00.000+08:00

A school girl stole a test tube from the laboratory

and used it as a dildo

until it breaks.

What Is Australia? (Part 1)

2006-08-16T01:01:00.000+08:00

Shh.... I am blogging surreptitiously as Confusticated is sleeping in his room.

Good Die!

As you may already know, after my wonderful Birthday, I hopped onto the plane the next day to go holidaying at the proverbial Land Down Under for two weeks.

My terrorist-free plane

The chilly winter weather greeted me (not to mention a certain fat unfriendly immigration officer) as I arrived to the foreign country safe and sound without getting raped. It was fun enjoying the cold ambience for a couple of seconds before shivering as the chill ran down my spine. I didn't know discharging waste from my bowels can be a challenge as it was a do-it-or-die situation when I had to close my eyes and plonk onto the icy cold toilet seat that frozed my butt.

*Confusticated snores and turns around.

I was staying over at my aunt's house in the first two days and I walked around the australian neighbourhood.

The quaint and tranquil australian neighbourhood.

This is SOoo Uptown. Every house are enormous and custom built with beautiful architecture. It was said that Kylie Minougue's parents stayed over here (Gasp!) and there were several other celebrities here like Captain Barbosa from Pirates (Geoffrey Rush). Everything's clean and well-kept, except this one:

Wild jungle on the outside

A house on the inside.

*Confusticated slept-talk

After that I stayed over at Confusticated's room and had a fabulous dinner with 5 other bloggers. We were bloated with all kinds of roasted meat. It was kinda like a buffet and the price was half of the original at that particular day of the week. 25 dollars (RM 68) for all-you-can-eat meat. In Malaysia, such cut-throat price would have the normal citizens gawking and cursing(For Example, Bukhara) but it was considered cheap and reasonable on this particular region. Talk about perspective!

Cool decor on hot chocolate that you'll never find in Mamak stall

FRESH MEAT!

* Confusticated woke up (!) and slept back.

*Continues blogging the next morning...

As I went to the restaurant with Confusticated, I got a chance to saunter around the city and went to silentside's and oldnavyblue's places respectively.

Day

Night

The next day, I attended a 1-hour lecture at an Australian University, realizing that I still had a lot of things to study. *sob *sob

Then as Confusticated went for his tutorials, I wandered around the vast university compound for more than an hour desperately finding my way back to his house (10 minute walking distance from campus), which I succeeded miraculously. Hmmm... not bad for a blur guy with a bad sense of direction.

Yay me!

I even watched 2 gay movies (Formula 17 & Bishonen) that day, courtesy of Kyle, whom I met earlier on August 11 (Friday).

I managed to keep myself occupied for the past few days, eventhough I didn't plan anything, thanks to the blogger friends especially Confusticated (not that kind of "occupied") who happened to have natural talent at cooking.

This is a great holiday and I'm enjoying every bit of it. :-)

A Day To Remember

2006-08-13T02:54:00.000+08:00

12 a.m. - Received the first "Happy Birthday" sms while I was in the toilet.

2 pm - A birthday party in the afternoon with a home-made cake.

7 pm -A dinner with family at a restaurant.

11pm - And a late nigh party, with a cake my other gang of friends bought, just in time before my birthday ended.

This is the best birthday I've ever had and thanks to all my friends. Thanks for every wonderful birthday messages you've sent.

Thank you. :)

Gangster In K-Hell (Part 2)

2006-08-09T13:51:00.000+08:00

He got bitchy.

Hunky: You don't say anything. (Pointing finger at me)

Me: Okay okay. (smiling)

Hunky: You shut up.

Me: (Nod Nod)

Hunky: You don't "five minutes" or say your rushing with me.

Me: Yes yes, sorry sorry. (I slapped myself softly)

Hunky: You don't have to do that. You are being len si (arrogant) to me. I am in a bad temper right now after yesterday's incident.

A: Please forgive him, he don't know anything.

Man: Calm down. The boy's very confused already.

Oooh, the climax! Tension was great and a fight nearly broke up. Or rather, the hunky bitch was nearly going to punch me. Somehow, I didn't mind actually. I'm already mentally prepared for this. If he's gonna beat me or kill me or sth, so be it! But I could sense the fear from my friend who was sitting next to me. I didn't want him to be in hot soup with me, so I just apologized profusely.

Hunky: You know, the Ipoh guy was even more lensi than you. And where do you think they are?

Me: Where?

Hunky: In the office. Do you want to see how they look like now?

Me: Um...... you got take pictures?

Hunky: No

Me: Well, if you wanna let me see, then okay... why not?

Hunky: .......

Me: Just kidding ma

Obviously he was fed up with my blurness and he finally told us what it was really all about.

Hunky: We make fake Visas, Mastercard and credit card. Yesterday (Monday) as our men were making a delivery, some people robbed us, and all those (forged) cards were lost. Now my boss is furious and we need to know who did this.

Monday was the Chinese Ghost Day. In retrospect, it was rather funny that gangsters themselves got robbed on that very day.

Then he asked us about our use of ATM, Visa, and Master cards. Me being blur, I didn't have to act to tell them straightforward that I didn't really know what those cards are and how to use them.

He said it's over and let us leave, after knowing what our handphone model is.
A was so afraid that they'll stalk us.

We reached Sungei Wang and the queue was already like 1 KM. Then, as we were waiting in the super long queue, A started chatting with a man next to us in the queue about the incident. The man adviced us to run away to the crowds when we encounter things like this. A girl carrying a video recorder came and interviewed us. We may appear on TV (Astro AEC's music show).

We managed to get the free ticket finally and we went home safe and sound...... can't help but to feel the aftershock of the gangster meeting.

A thinks that the stranger he talked to on the queue was right and we should have ran away.
"We were just lucky that we weren't harmed. We should have learnt a lesson from this," he said.

And I think I have to blog this! Haha!

Gangster In K-Hell (Part 1)

2006-08-09T00:58:00.000+08:00

MY FM (a radio channel) is offering free tickets for its annual concert which features various famous celebrities. There was 1000 tickets ready to be given out to the masses in Sungei Wang (a shopping centre in the heart of Kuala Lumpur) starting at 8:00 pm this Tuesday.

I didn't know about this until my friend, A, called me to get the free tickets with him. Unfortunately, the concert's date is August 13. By the time the concert starts, I would have reached Australia already. But since I'm so free, I just accompany him.

It so happens that he is one day younger than me, and the concert is held on his birthday. We reached there early by train at 6 pm but inadvertently we found ourselves embroiled in a tricky affair as we bumped into a bespectacled man.

Man: Are you from Bangsar?

Us: Huh? No, we're not. We're from XXX.

Man: Where exactly is that?

Us: Bla bla bla

Man: How old are you?

Us: 19.

Man: Look, I need you two to follow me to meet with my friend.

A: But we just got out the station.

Me: What for?

Man: There's a fight yesterday. My friend saw you from across the street. He just wants to check whether u two were involved?

A: What? But we are innocent.

Man: It's ok, we just want to make sure.

A: What if we get beaten?

Man: Don't worry, I'll protect you, k?

Me: Ooo, Are you from the TV?

I was rather calm and even joked. Of course I know something fishy is going on and we were in danger but I wanted to see what is in store for us. My friend was reluctant but I complied.

Man: We just want to make sure you were not involved in the fight yesterday. We've questioned 30 people like this already.

Me: Ooo, Are you a police?

Man: No, I'm from kongsi gelap. (gangster gang)

So we went to a restaurant and met his friend there. I shall call him Hunky for obvious reasons. :P He was wearing like a normal guy on the street, but he's a gangster. Hunky asked us lots of questions, like where we live, where we study, what we're doing there.....stuffs like that.

Hunky: I'm not going to beat you. I've just beaten the wrong guys from Ipoh and now I just want to make sure that u were not the guys who stole stuffs from us yesterday. I don't wanna de jui (offend) you, and you don't wanna de jui (offend) me. bla bla bla blah blah

He first picked on my friend who was shocked and staring at him. "Why are your eyes staring at me?" " You're angry, har?" He'll get offended easily and we had to apologize to him countless times. I know he's clearly playing the mind trick, debasing us making us vulnarable emotionally so that they can get the truth out of us. It was so drama, I felt like being in the movies, and Hunky began to look like a stupid drama queen. And I can't wait to get out of there.

Me: Can you let us go now? We're kinda in a rush. We need to get there early to get the tickets and I need to run some errands also.

Hunky: Give us some time, it won't take a long time.

Me: Okay five minutes.

Hunky: We want to make sure you're the not the guys we're looking for.

Me: Five mintutes, okay? ( Rasing a hand) Okay?

I can see his eyes dilated as he began to do what gangster do best.

Halleluyah!...

2006-08-07T20:27:00.000+08:00

Today is the day of the reckoning. My A-level results are out.

I don't deserve it at all.

I got 4 A!!!

Although it's better than expected, the results will remain useless unless I can get a decent scholarship. I mean, that's the reason I've studied so hard ~~days before the exams~~ , apart of having something to show off. Now that's giving me a headache.

Any sugar daddy out there who would like to sponsor my education?

Saturday......

2006-08-06T00:44:00.000+08:00

Saturday

Dad wants to take me to XXX University for its open day and to enquire about my room application.
My friend wants to come over to my house to play my computer.
Another friend wants to have lunch.

Suddenly there's so many appointments I can take after rotting in the house for a week, failing to materialize my plan to pay a second visit to Singapore, due to laziness, which deprived me the chance to meet Buaya and POD's bf (sorry guys).

But I attended the Gay Birthday Party, celebrating Leggy's and Xavier's birthday. Being a master of procrastination I made the two simple birthday cards at the eleventh hour for Leggy and Xavier. I've squeezed my brain to think of a ~~cheap~~ good gift but all that comes to my mind is burning a dvd jam-packed with goodies from my vast collection of gay porn. Now I was really going to give dvds with classified content as birthday presents before I think of what my reaction would be if I were to receive such an unsavoury gift myself. " I already have enough porns" is what comes to my mind, and the second thought, "He's a creep!" convinced me that I should stick to simple forgettable cards or risk deteriorating my already embarrassing reputation of being "blur".

So I made the cards which I believe will end up in the dustbins sooner or later.

Guess what Leggy said when he got a classical music CD from Alex.

" Porn would have been so much better."

Dang.

Um...... before I managed to find my way to the restaurant I was walking around aimlessly (since I arrived early to prevent you-know-what) and I began to panic as I didn't know where exactly the venue is. Defiant and Mcdave called me but I didn't know. I couldn't call as my phone credits expired and I'm waiting for my Birthday to reload (which will give me 50% more credits, yay!). Fortunately I somehow managed to spot Xavier's head (Gaydar?), and ~~stalked~~ followed him all the way to the restaurant. He was with another guy, a stranger who was interrogated by a bunch of curious bloggers later on.

Now contrary to all the previous gatherings, I was taciturn and turned almost invisible most of the time as the others are yakking away. Perhaps it's me being the only one single among the crowd, or that the fact that I am a Leo too and my birthday is around the corner eluded everybody's mind, or that this is the real me. I can be extremely quite as I had nothing good or shocking to say, a behaviour which some of my friends commented as being snobbish, unfriendly and unapproachable. I just hope that I didn't spoil everyone's mood there.

---(Warning! Rantings ahead.)

I am single and lonely right now but I am so tired of being sad about it. After several unrequited love (sort of) which left my heart battered and bleeding, I'd rather be single and liberate myself from the pains of love. I so miss my childhood days, where I never had the slightest desire to have a lover to be with. After searching for a while, I can't help but to feel unwanted. Now that my holidays are nearly over (two months passed, one month left) and I don't have a special someone to celebrate my birthday with, I don't know whether I should be sad or happy.

Being sad doesn't change anything, does it? If I am a robot with controllable emotions, I'd really just wanna be happy. To be happy that I have loving family and caring friends. To be happy that I have a future ahead of me. Yes, I am young and I should wait for my true love to come.

I'll be turning 19 soon and fly off to Australia the day after my birthday. I do need to be more mature. I'm not ready for a relationship that'll possibly tear my heart to pieces. For now, I'm contended with being single, or so I hope.

First Yoga Class

2006-08-03T21:02:00.000+08:00

My initial perception to yoga is that it's a weird exercise where you twist and turn your body parts for whatever reasons, possibly improving your health (or to learn to self-suck) or something. There's a lot of hype about yoga since the last decade and now I got to try it for the first time, thanks to my dad who nagged me into it.

Me: But dad, what are the people who attend the class?

I was ready to say NO if there were only middle-aged women in the class.

Dad: There were all kinds of people, women....... an old man (Oh o)... girls.... even a boy who's around your age. ( Ok, not bad)

Ever since he's retired, my dad couldn't stand a sedentary on-the-shelf life. He got another job and started doing yoga. He made my mom join him for a couple of classes but my mom gave up. Now that noone is accompanying him in the women-infested yoga class, he turns to me, encouraging me to try the weird exercise.

After getting what I need for yoga --- a matt, an extra cloth and a towel, which really came in handy as I am a heavy sweater, I followed my dad to the yoga centre. Prior to that I've just started playing another Ragnarok Online server with better rates, meaning I can level up my character in lightning speed. Compared to weeks, possibly months of playing, my character can achieve level 99 within 2 hours in this particular server. That sense of achievement was exhilarating but instead of continue playing, i had to peel myself from the game. My mind was constantly thinking about the game until I reached the class.

Ok, there was an old man, a boy (who's unfortunately not the lean muscular type that I imagined him to be), some fit and not-so-fit women. And the female yoga instructor was hot! Oh, how I wish to have her taut six-pack abs. This petite woman is quite a yoga expert, able to do all those amazing (impossible for us common folks) postures that you only normally see in pictures and shows. Kicks...swings...twists.....turns.... she can do those moves effortlessly like a circus clown. (I bet she can self-suck)

The instructor guided us into different postures, speedily moving from one position to the next, while telling us to inhale and exhale slowly. The exercise was more vigorous than I thought, apart from perspiring heavily, I almost lost my breath at one point. After a while, I started to feel bored and couldn't wait to get out of the class.

At the end of the class, the instructor asked me whether it was fun.

Me: Ok la. (I don't want to do this again)

Rather than spending an hour forcing my body into awkward positions, I find it more relaxing just doing push-ups, sit-ups and running on my own.

-----------------------

As I was googling for a picture to put on this post, I found this gay nude yoga classes that were conducted in the US. Oh..... that almost sounds like a sexual fantasy to me, and to know that it's real......

Ideju!

2006-07-28T16:28:00.000+08:00

After reading Derek's post on how hard it was to get a certain comic in Singapore, I've decided to introduce a great comic that's easily available here in Malaysia.

IDEJU! --- Probably the weirdest manga I've ever read, with some funny homosexual raping scene that went uncensored and translated into the Malay Language. A super handsome guy raping another cute one, in the public.... and the others were okay with that. Things like that wouldn't happen in our ultra-conservative Malaysian society, but it's nice to see them in print.

Ad Hoc Seremban Trip

2006-07-28T00:42:00.000+08:00

Me: Hello?

T: Hello, what is it?

Me: Well, that thing we talked about ....... can I do it?

T: Ok.

So I began my journey to T's house, which took me one and a half hour. Stayed over at his place for 3 days and went around eating and sightseeing.

To my consternation, I realized that the Bleach anime I watched was steering off the course in terms of storyline as I finished reading T's latest collection of the orginal Bleach comic books.

Well, that's all.

Note: T is just a straight ~~hunky~~ college friend of mine.

Oh My Groin!

2006-07-23T11:10:00.000+08:00

Before I continue with this post, I would like to stress that technically I'm still a virgin, and that what I'm about to write can be quite shocking to the prude.

It all begins in Primary School. As innocent pupils, we play games. Sometimes, the game can be normal, like Jump rope, Hopscotch, or the simple Hide and seek.

The game can be downright stupid, like making the longest string-like residue by rubbing the rubber slowly on the table.

Or unsavoury, like playing Rock, Paper, Scissors and having the loser undo a button one by one. Of course only the boys would play that game as we were wearing dress shirt.

Another questionable game that is exclusive to the boys is um...
Groin-touching.

Popularly played among the boys, the objective of the game is to touch the others' groin while protecting your own groin from being touched.

Don't ask me how this game came about, might have been invented by a lecherous gay boy, but we sure had a lot of fun playing that game, and I sort of mastered the game. Okay, that's not the point.

You see, as fate would have it, I was sitting next to a guy, to whom I shall name as Lecherous Lex. One day I playfully touched his groin, and he reciprocated by putting a hold on mine.

Me: Hey, you touched too long.

LL: Hehe, then you can touch mine again.

Me: Ok.

Soon, the touching turned into fondling...... and I shall spare you the gory details. Mind you, all these happened during class, while the teacher was teaching. However, as we sat close to each other, we managed to "touch" each other surreptitiously. It was fun at first, but soon I began to feel disgusted. I do realized something is wrong about this but I don't know why. Probably it felt like having promiscuous sex without love. Unfortunately, day by day, LL began to be a bit more aggressive. He started to request for more "touching", especially during breaks. I just refused and not long after that, we brushed the whole thing aside as we had to concentrate for a major exam.

LL isn't a bad person ( in fact he's a smart ass and we've been competing with each other for the top spot in school), but I can't help but to think, in retrospect, that all he wanted was sex, and I do not like that. Nevertheless, he's the first person that I've had sexual contact with and I could not forget that.

We did not keep in touch after leaving promary school. Yesterday night, I contacted him with the number on the year book as I really wondered how he is doing now, after so many years.

Me: Hello, LL, guess who I am.

LL: Huh? XXX? YYY?... (wrong guesses)

Me: What? How can you forget me? I'm Harvey!

LL: Oh... I didn't expect you to call me, especially not at a time like this.....after so long...

Me: So, how are you doing?

LL: Fine. You?

Me: Same here. Holidaying. Where are you going to study?

LL: XXX university.

Me: What? Oh, my! That's the same university I'm going to. WOW!

(I was so shocked.)

LL: Really? What course are you doing?

Me: Chemical Engineering.

LL: Same here.

(I was even more shocked)

We chatted for a while but we did not talk about that "thing" we did in school. According to him, he was applying to further his studies in Singapore, but he didn't go as there was no scholarship for him. XXX University, however, offered him full scholarship, and so he decided to go there instead.

Apparently, we'll most probably end up in the same class again, as fate would have it. I don't know how I should feel about this. Don't tell me we're gonna end up as roomates like the case in Notroh Woods.

No, I don't really like that. It'll be so awkward.

*shudders

Confession of A Teenage Wailing Banshee

2006-07-21T00:00:00.000+08:00

I've been to the Curve several times. Everytime I go there is to meet fellow gay bloggers. I mean, EVERY SINGLE TIME. The place really is so not straight.

Yesterday I had lunch with Famezgay and Mrbunnyban, who'll be leaving to Australia today, at the Italianese. (We'll miss you, bunny.... Don't forget to blog!)

I didn't order anything as I woke up late and had brunch but they let me partake their stuff. Hehe. Thanks.

Lately, I've been really stingy and I didn't want to put my money to the drain. By subtly conveying that message across, I had the others generously paid for my lunch, supper and dinner. The Searcher sponsored my expenses during the Bloggers' meet while ça va pas la tête paid for my bowl of asam laksa and drinks last Sunday. This time I literally ate Lawrence's and Mrbunnyban's food without paying a single cent. Sigh..My parsimonious attitude, attributed by my penitence for spending more money than I normally would last month, must have made me a jerk these days. But honestly, I'd rather starve than to pay for expensive food (by my standard, anything more than RM 5 is gonna burn a hole in my wallet).

It does not help that I am going to the land down under for two weeks on August. The harbinger of losing all those $$$ just to purvey me transient pleasure is still too much to bear. Since I've never got a job and earn any money, I feel myself useless and unworthy of such extravagance, although it is my dad who encouraged me to "see the world" by having a vacation in Australia.

Well, you can imagine my trepidation as I was invited to join Defiant, Mcdave and Famezgay for a karaoke session tonight. Incidentally my dad organized a crocodile meat (which he got from Sabah two weeks ago) dinner party inviting a few of his friends. I find myself in a dilemma. To spend money or not to spend money. Going for Karaoke is not going to be cheap, I thought, but it would be an unprecedented experience for me. As I was on the MSN messenger, Famezgay messaged me, which goes something like this:

Famezgay: Defiant put me responsible for getting you to come for the karaoke tonight. You must come !

Me: Eh? I'm still considering it.

Famezgay: David got coupons for 3, so we only have to share the cost for 1 or 2 people. It'll be around RM 10 for each person.

Me: (delighted) Really?! You've cleared my mind.

Famezgay: You'd better come or Defiant will kill me. Ok? Don't be so blur ar...

Touched by his insistence on getting me to attend the karaoke session, I drove to the Curve, ~~only to realized that I forgot to bring enough money in the middle of the journey and drove back home to get it, before finally reaching the Curve.~~
Chris couldn't make it, so there were four of us.

Surprisingly the buffet there was terrific! They got sushi, fresh oysters, otak-otak (some sort of traditional marinated fish meat), prawns salad, cakes, lots of other yummy finger food and guess what, a CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN !!! In the past, I've only been able to see them from a distance (not willing to fork out money to buy) but now I got to taste the chocolate-coated strawberries. Whoa! Pure chocolate! Whee....

Back to the karaoke. I have a confession to make. I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't do nothing....cause I had no professional training, neither do I have the talent to begin with... I can't hit the high notes and worst of all, I don't know how to sing any song. McDave and Famezgay, on the other hand, being karaoke veterans, sung up lots of songs (especially mandarin ones) with ease, while I had to wail and screech to keep up with the melody. So sorry for making you guys suffer from my preposterous vocals. It was very unfortunate that I love to sing but I can't sing. *CRY

In the end I broke my voice, and I resorted to doing what I can actually do. That is to EAT, EAT and EAT. I wolfed down all the (expensive) food available at the buffet table until I could eat no more.

And best of all......thanks to McDave's miraculous coupons, when the cheque comes..........

Each of us only have to pay RM 5.

*The stingy self in me is guffawing.

This Blog Is OFFICIALLY CLOSED.............NOT

2006-07-17T23:22:00.000+08:00

Let's see..... what did I do after the gay Melaka trip....?

There was a lot of chatting with bloggers online, especially idiot, who was as free as me until this week.

Watched 80 ++ episodes of Bleach.

Downloaded several movies illegally. I've just watched Lucky Number Slevin today. The first part of the movie would be very monotonous, if Josh Hartnett didn't walk around wearing only a towel hanging loosely on his lower waist.

Watched a movie legally at the cinema on Saturday. The queue was unusually long but we managed to buy 8 great seats that were no longer reserved half an hour before the show started. Hmm... I'm too lazy to type out the stupid long name of the movie, perhaps Orlando Bloom would ring a bell? Personally I still think he looks far better as a blonde elf in LOTR. Perhaps his sexual appeal decreased as his character got attached to a cleavage-showing girl in a movie full of filthy pirates. Like its predecessor, the story is full of twists and witty dialogues. Pretty entertaining.

Met ça va pas la tête of Me talk pretty everyday's fame on Sunday at the Curve (this time I only missed the first turn, Yay!) . Incidentally he took me to eat asam laksa (some sort of "spicy sour noodles", annie & ru, if you're reading this) , which is my favourite. Ooo, we saw a really hot hunk there too, bulgy biceps.....cute face... so out of my league.

And he looks just as good, if not better than Orlando Bloom.

As requested

2006-07-12T20:43:00.000+08:00

Where shall I begin?

2006-07-11T17:02:00.000+08:00

It's a long story so I'm cutting it short. Suffice to say, I went to the bloggers' meet on Saturday night and the gay Malacca trip the next day.

Ok, done!

Currently watching 87 episodes of the Bleach animation.

Salty Coffee

2006-07-05T12:34:00.000+08:00

This story is plagiarized from a blog of my friend, who got it from the ~~spam~~ chain emails. I like it because instead of making me feel touchy and melancholic, it makes me laugh in the end.

He met her at a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her,
While he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised but to be polite, she accepted the invitation. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, and she thought to herself,
"Please, let me go home..."

Suddenly he asked the waiter,
"Would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it.

She asked him curiously, "Why you have this ~~fetish~~ hobby?"

He replied, "When I was a little boy, I lived near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there."

While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feelings, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can say out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, responsible to home... Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, and a beautiful beginning of their story.

They continued to date. She found that he was actually a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, cheerful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, and then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said,

"My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life's lie.
This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee.
Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication!

I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything... Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth, I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste... But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, I still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again."

Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her,
"What's the taste of salty coffee?"
She replied, "It's sweet."

Pass this to everyone because love is not to forget but to forgive, not to see but understand, not to hear but to listen, not to let go but HOLD ON!!!!
~It takes onli a few seconds to hurt people u luv but it can take years to heal~
~It takes years to build trust but it onli takes a few seconds to destroy it~

Blurblurman Returns!!!

2006-07-03T00:39:00.000+08:00

"This is the third time I'm driving to the curve. No more mistakes" I told to myself,

I didn't miss the first turn. Yay!

But I missed the second turn and had to go a long way before I can turn back to the same route again.

Gah!

Anyway, I watched Superman with Bryan, Hafiz and his BF at Cathay cinema for the first time. I think the movie is just so so, maybe it's because I wasn't particularly attracted to Brandon Routh. I don't know why but I found myself rooting for James Marsden. I didn't know he was Cyclops in X-men until I checked in the Internet. He looks so gorgeous. We are talking about an actor who was purportedly denied of a role because of his overly handsome face after all.

The story itself was very simple. It was giving me a deja vu as they are reusing a similar plot from that of the last Superman film. Yes, I watched the old original Superman movie starring Christopher Reeve on telly. I know it's a continuation from the original movie, but as far as I can see, there's only one little twist in the story, which was pretty predictable anyway.

I read an article about how the movie attracted a lot of gay attention. It was directed by a director (Bryan Singer) who's said to be gay and the story of a unique person who's unlike everybody else and had difficulty in getting the attention of the one he loves (in the case of Clark Kent) really resonates with the GTLB crowd. His unsuccessful search for his own kind, however, would be terrible if it is to happen to me. Imagine being the only living gay on earth, or universe for that matter.

Overall, it would have been better if Brandon and James showed more skin. Hehe. Oh well, guess I'll just have to search for those shirtless pics from the net.

"Oh, It's so nice to be out of that horrendous Superman outfit"

*Looks around surreptitiously

*Pull out his pants and walk around naked

Thank God It's Gay

2006-07-02T01:44:00.000+08:00

The Curve (a huge shopping complex) lives up to it's name for being... well, not Straight.

Armed with a map detailing every single route to the destination, motivated by the fact that I went there for the first time without any trouble, I drove confidently to the Curve.

"Oh, I missed this turn. Nevermind, I can go for another route."

"Oh, shoot! I'm supposed to U-turn! Oh well, I'll just have to brave through the traffic jam and go a huge round."

"Oh my god! I'm supposed to turn left. Now I had to do a dangerous U-turn (turn-reverse-turn) "

Since I started my journey (very) early, anticipating the harbinger of getting lost on the way, I managed to reach the Curve at 7pm. Then, I began freaking out. I'm gonna meet so many (gay) strangers at 7.30pm as we're having a fairwell dinner for Mrbunnyban who's going to leave for Australia in Mid-July. Now I have done everything I could to alleviate my ugliness.

Facial - checked
Lip moisturizer - checked
Futile attempt of cutting my hair to make it look better- checked
Bright-coloured shirt that makes me look not so skinny, i hope - checked

Walking around Borders got myself calm, cool and collected. I even read a few pages of the book titled " How To Deal With People". I know I need only one reason not to panic --- I do wanna meet these bloggers, seeing their (true) face behind the blog that I had been reading since last year.

So, I'm there, joining 11 gay men. There were Paul and Leggie (who looked like brothers, ironically), Derek and Joshua (whom I have met before this dinner), Alex and Xavier (the two legendary gay roomates), Chris ( Derek's bf), Defiant and his Mcdave, Silentside and of course, our main character, Mrbunnyban !!!

I ordered a set, unbeknownst to the fact that I'd need a certain supernatural power to squeze the whole course of meal into my stomach. I was absolutely stuffed with the food and had to have my dessert packed as there's no way I could gobble it up without vomitting it back out. Xavier seemed to have the supernatural power though. The way he wolfed down the dessert was quite pornographic anyway, as pointed out by Defiant.

Time flew by as we were yakking ever so loudly that I believed everyone in the restaurant doesn't need a gaydar to know who we are. It does not help that there are 3 couples among us who were um... stuck to each other like couples.

Paul and Leggie left (together) earlier. And I bid goodbye hastily as I realized it was way past midnight when Xavier, Alex and Joshua are leaving.

A 'blur' guy like me driving in the dead of night? Not good. However, as I was overwhelmed by trepidation, I became less 'blur' and managed to get through without a scratch and put up a post here. I wanted to post this as soon as possible because there'll be another post about my movie outing tomorrow (or should it be today?) , with another bunch of bloggers that I have not met yet!

Hmmm...... *still proud of being able to drive safely late at night

Oh wait, I forgot to take the packed chocolate cake home.

T_T

I'm SOooo condemned to being 'blur'.

Now I can only look at the picture. Sigh.

Singapore, Here I Cum! (Part 3)

2006-06-28T12:19:00.001+08:00

Oh, haven't masturbated for so many days. I feel so strange now.

Hello, greetings from Singapore!

I went to Night Safari that Saturday night and it wasn't long before I forgot my 'loneliness' as I was surronded by so many animals. It wasn't hard to believe that this is Singapore's number 1 tourist attraction. The concept is pretty simple actually, put drains and glass planes instead of cages to seclude the animals in one area and dim the light, so that we humans can look at them at a closer distance without the animals noticing. The atmosphere was like Survivor when we first entered. We wacthed the Animal Show and explored the safari by tram ride and on foot along some of the walking trails. There were lots of (boring) deers and birds. The only animals which were interesting are the tigers, hyena and the babi rusa (pig deer, a wild pig with curly tusks). Oh, and I was so close to the bats that I could almost smell their breath.

After the Night Safari visit I didn't do anything else except shopping, sleeping and blogging. I spent the whole of Sunday sleeping as I was exhausted the day before. In the weekdays my sis and her bf went working, leaving me, myself and I. And I got into a routine:

Morning: Wake up when I can't sleep anymore, go out to have breakfast, then starts blogging.

Afternoon: Go out to have lunch, and go shopping. There are so many shopping complexes to go to through the train.

Night: Have dinner with my sis and her bf. Watch tv and sleep.

I felt like living in my own home in Malaysia, except that I have more places to go. Despite being gay, shopping is not really my cup of tea, but being in Singapore, the shopping heaven, I can't help but to shop around. I didn't shop for clothes though, as I prefer window-shopping at the electronics store. And I am frugal, I don't like to spend my dad's money on those expensive stuff. I always feel a little bit of guilt after buying something which lessens the weight of my wallet. Well...... yeah, I don't like spending money..... honest! (Please ignore the fact that the blogger managed to spend an average of 60 dollars per day in Singapore)

Oooh, it's the afternoon now. Time to go shop.

Au revoir.

8 Different Points About Your Perfect Lover

2006-06-27T11:43:00.000+08:00

Spreading and multiplying like a contagious disease across the blogosphere, the nefarious Meme found its way into my blog as I was double-tagged, by none other than McGay and Chris with the cross thingy. Haha, I don't mind actually. Thank you and I love you all. *Muacks

1) LOVE ME just the way I am.

2) Humourous, fun to be with.

3) Mature (not necessarily old) and willing to take care of me. I am expecially 'blur' when it comes to direction, so I hope he'll lead the way for me.

4) Understanding, honest about his feelings, so that both of us can share our thoughts.

5) Have the same interests as me--- Games & Anime !!! If he doesn't, he should at least accept those interests.

6) Serious in having a long-term relationship (I'm not a slut although I watched too much porn you know.)

7) Remember my birthday.

8) Not a criminal.

Okay, it was really difficult for me to figure up all 8 points. I only had 2 points in the beginning and I was about to give up before squeezing my brain again for the other points. The first two points are pretty essential and the rest are just criteria for us to be comptible with each other.

Oh well, I'm so tired. I need to sleep and dream about having a perfect lover.

Ciao.

Singapore, Here I Come! (Part 2)

2006-06-26T12:09:00.000+08:00

3 seats in a row! I was pleasantly surprised to be able to board a high-class bus, even though I bought an economical ticket. Sitting next to me is an UK couple. I nearly broke out in laughter as their voice sounded just like Mr ans Mrs Bean. In front of the couple are two Malays, a guy and a woman who looked like siblings. We reached a station where lots of buses were parked there, and some of the passengers began alighting from the bus with their luggage. And Mr Bean asked me:" Do you know what we're supposed to do here?". Apparently he's asked the wrong person because I had the same question in mind. The guy sitting in front of me (whom I suspect is a fellow queer) turned around and told us we don't have to do anything. It's a stop for the locals. As we went through the Malaysia, then the Singapore custom. The Malay couple were missing. Apparently they were detained at the Singapore custom. I saw the custom officer counting the cigarettes that they bought.

So the bus reached Singapore. Out of the window, a shirtless hunk was standing beside the street. He's got the model body, complete with the amazing rock- hard six-pack. All I could do was to shout "OH MY GOD" in my mind. That's when I pulled the curtain away and began seriously looking at the streets of Singapore. The country is indeed clean, and the grass looks greener, literally. It's like the improved version of Singapore.

Derek: Did I tell you that I'm going to treat you with a gay movie?
Me: Really? I don't know..... (Are you serious?)

So I went to the cinema with Derek to watch the French movie called C.R.A.Z.Y after a lunch. There was a cutie who had problems buying tickets to another gay film (King Clown) because his 'partner' wasn't there to show that he or she is above 18.

Anyway, I was surprised that there were things that I could relate to in the movie:

When I was a kid, I had a 'friendship' with my dad. Yeah, we used to be friends with each other and I was spoilt.
Once, I wore my sister's dress and began dancing and singing in the living room. Unlike the movie, my family just laughed at me, and I didn't do that again.
I had prayed and wished that I'll be straight.
I thought I had this 'gift', some sort of special power. I can make things happen if I wish for it hard enough, but I would lose something in return. Well, in retrospect, I think it's just a manifestation of my imagination after watching too much cartoons, and I'm still gay after praying so much.
I became rebellious. I was angry and depressed that I couldn't stop being gay. I hated myself.

Oh, unlike the main character, I'm not cute and I didn't work out like him. And I didn't live in self-denial as long as him, thanks to all of the information about gays that I could obtain from newspapers, magazines and the internet. I tried to be straight, hypnotizing myself that I like the bouncing boobies. but after several attempts, I gave up. I felt that I couldn't do that anymore and if I kept making myself straight, I'll never be happy even until I die.

I'm not gay, but I'm gay.

And this is how I came to be who I am today. I accepted that I'm gay but I plan to stay in the closet for now. But I also crave for love, hoping that I'll find someone so that I'll not be lonely for the rest of my life.

At night, I went to Night Safari with my sis and her bf. I was moody that time after watching the movie and I had this poem in my mind.

The Search is always on,
But my heart is almost gone,
Bit by Bit...
Piece by Piece...
It's broken
But not sold.

Do I have to wait til dawn
Or keep running beyond
Step by Step...
Stop by Stop...
My flesh is willing
But my spirit is weak.

Oh, don't worry, I'm fine.

Singapore, Here I Come !!! (Part 1)

2006-06-26T11:11:00.000+08:00

Singapore's gay population will increase by one

My time has come. I'll travel alone, all by myself, unprecedentedly. Lifting my luggage, I stride across confidently with my nose high in the air imagining myself as Sydney Bristow on a mission to save the world.

I went to the counter to enquire where my bus is.

Me : (showing ticket) Mana platform? Where's the platform?

Worker: ...blah...puluh..

Me: Hah?

Worker: blah blah

Me: Huh? Sepuluh? ten?

I walked away and talked to my father (who brought me to the station).

Me: Platform Ten ? I heard ten.

Father: What? You didn't hear what he said? He said come back and check again at 10 oclock (30 minutes before the bus departs)! How come I can hear from a distance away but u can't?

Me: (embarassed) I don't know.......

Immediately, I felt more like being Susan in Desperate Housewives.

Can a "blur blur" person like me survive the journey and reach Singapore safe and sound without getting:

Detained at Custom
Robbed
Raped
Kidnapped and sold to mafia
Murdered for my kidney
getting on the wrong bus and reached Thailand instead

?

The answer is Yes!

Lost in life

2006-06-21T14:50:00.000+08:00

It's weird how the dilemma published in The Star today can be so relevant to my life

Yesterday afternoon, my sister called when I was playing RO.

Sis: Hello, what are you doing?

Me: Playing games lo, as usual.

Sis: You're playing game all day one ar? I just knew about this temp job in my company, do you wanna try it?

Me: I don't know.... (Horrible images of being a slave in my much-needed holidays flashed across my mind)

Sis: It has to do with builing a web portal related to manufacturing. Since you have basic HTML skills I think you can try that job. You'll get to learn some stuff for the future anyway, and it'll look good in your resume.

Me: What's the pay?

Sis: The pay isn't that good lah, 500 only, but it's a temporary job that lasts for 2 months after all.

Me: Uh...... I don't really want to do a job you know....

Sis: Then, what do you plan to do? Sit around all day wasting time in the holidays?

Me: Um... something like that..... (Hell, yeah! That's exactly my plan.) But I would have lost my holidays.

Sis: You can still play RO at night and in the weekends, right? Don't be like that la, this is a good opportunity you know. You should really try that....

Me: Okay..... gua (my slur began more and more obvious)

Sis: Ok, you email me your resume to me today before 5.

So, I took some time, rather unwillingly, to produce a resume for her. Being a perfectionist, I scanned pictures of my exams certificate (which I'm proud of) and put them into the MS Word document, and the size of the file ballooned to 25MB. Oh O! Under normal circumstances I would freak out but luckily in the past, I downloaded and installed Adobe Acrobat illegally just for fun, and now it comes in handy. The humungous word file was converted to a tiny 370 KB pdf file. Pleased, I sent it.

At night, my sister called again.

Sis: I forwarded the email already and they'll call you in for an interview. Anyway, you're going to Singapore right? We can go together with my husband (driving) in the weekends, because they got sales there.

Me: Okay.... that sounds like a great idea...

Sis: You need to stop slurring like this, brush up your presentation skill, later how are you going to get the job when they interview you?

Me: Ah..... I told you already. I don't really want the job........ That's why I'm gonna sound this unenthusiastic.....just go there and try la...

Sis: How can you say like that? Make up your mind okay? This is not the first time. Like in the previous time you rejected the JPA scholarship.

Me: Well, in retrospect, I think it's a wise decision. I don't regret anymore. 5 years of studying just to get a technical diploma in Japan doesn't sound right to me.

Sis: There's good and bad. You cannot close your mindset like that. Last time, I took you for a swimming course and you stopped halfway. You will regret you know when you go to a beach with your friends as you sit alone when your friends are playing in the water.

Me: Yeah... but I don't care.

Sis: You are always like that. Why can't you open your mind? That job is good you know, you can learn a lot of stuff. Last time I also, blah blah...blah (talked about her work experience)

Me: I know the job is a good opportunity but I'm so tired already after being so active in the Computer club....builing the school website......then SPM, NS and A-levels. I need to have a break, a long break.

Sis: What? blah..blah blah......blah (same nagging and lecturing) I bet you'll never succeed in life. I know. I can tell you you'll never be happy with your studies, your job, and you'll never earn a lot of money with this kind of attitude. You'll just be contended with a simple life but you'll not be happy either.

Me: Yeah, yeah (Whatever.)

Sis: blah...blah blah blah... (another long-winded lecturing on how I ought to think)

Me: Okay, sis. I tell you what. I'm sorry. My decision has always been what I told you in the beginning. No, I don't want the job.

Sis: Okay, if you insist, but you don't regret after this.

Sigh, all I wanted was a (long) holiday. I knew I had missed out on a good opportunity to put my free time to good use and make a quick buck in the process, but I really wanted to enjoy doing nothing in this period of time. My dad has also advised me before that I'll spend the rest of my life working so I might as well start working seriously only after graduation. Holidays, like these, he said, should be used to go to other countries, touring and seeing new stuff.

Okay, both of them wanted me to do something in the holidays, but I chose to do nothing instead. I may go on a vacation but I don't feel like doing that alone since noone is going to accompany me.

But I've been rethinking what my sister said to me. I'm afraid that she may be right. I realized there's a fine line between taking a break and being a sloth. The image of suffering from a life of "meaninglessness" for the other two months flashed across my mind.

I've been ruminating about this issue for the whole day. It really sucks, man! I think I may follow the footstep of my uncle, who is still trying to pass his lawyer test and has never really got himself a job even at his 60s now. God knows how he thinks but it seems that he's not ashamed of being jobless and dependent on his mother (until she passed away) and relatives for his entire life even until now.

I'm not sure I should start being productive. I just wanted to have a time where I have nothing to worry and stress about. I have enjoyed that for more than one week now. I really enjoyed it. But is it too long to enjoy that for three months?

What Type of Writer Should I Be?

2006-06-20T18:27:00.000+08:00

I knew about this test from Prince of Darkness's blog

You Should Be a Joke Writer

You're totally hilarious, and you can find the humor in any situation.
Whether you're spouting off zingers, comebacks, or jokes about life...
You usually can keep a crowd laughing, and you have plenty of material.
You have the makings of a great comedian - or comedic writer.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

Oh, so I'm a joker.

Haha, I expected that because I do like comedies, you know, things that can put a smile on our face to lighten up our life which is already full of misery. That is why I'm not a big fan of horror (especially japanese) or overly sentimental movies anyway. It's one thing to be entertained and another to get yourself either paranoid (thinking a spirit is whispering behind you) or moody (thinking all those love stories will end with the main characters dying or handicapped ).

I don't really have the sense of humour though, sometimes resorting to vulgar or shocking statements that can put the most shameless pervert to shame. Consequently I had the ridiculous honour of getting the title of "SM King" in my college. Go figure.

(Notice the desperate attempts by the blogger to make this post funny)

Starting Anew

2006-06-19T18:26:00.000+08:00

Note to self: Never be so blur that you comment in a friend's blog with the blogger account you use to build a very personal gay blog. Never never never!

I am remaking this blog of mine. Sigh, the last thing I want is to have my family and friends wondering " What is this blog?" as they miraculously come across this blog.

You can find my previous entries in harvey0.blogspot.com

To think that I was writing a post about porn when I made that blatant mistake, again.