Singapore, Here I Cum! (Part 3)

Oh, haven't masturbated for so many days. I feel so strange now.

Hello, greetings from Singapore!

I went to Night Safari that Saturday night and it wasn't long before I forgot my 'loneliness' as I was surronded by so many animals. It wasn't hard to believe that this is Singapore's number 1 tourist attraction. The concept is pretty simple actually, put drains and glass planes instead of cages to seclude the animals in one area and dim the light, so that we humans can look at them at a closer distance without the animals noticing. The atmosphere was like Survivor when we first entered. We wacthed the Animal Show and explored the safari by tram ride and on foot along some of the walking trails. There were lots of (boring) deers and birds. The only animals which were interesting are the tigers, hyena and the babi rusa (pig deer, a wild pig with curly tusks). Oh, and I was so close to the bats that I could almost smell their breath.

After the Night Safari visit I didn't do anything else except shopping, sleeping and blogging. I spent the whole of Sunday sleeping as I was exhausted the day before. In the weekdays my sis and her bf went working, leaving me, myself and I. And I got into a routine:

Morning: Wake up when I can't sleep anymore, go out to have breakfast, then starts blogging.

Afternoon: Go out to have lunch, and go shopping. There are so many shopping complexes to go to through the train.

Night: Have dinner with my sis and her bf. Watch tv and sleep.


I felt like living in my own home in Malaysia, except that I have more places to go. Despite being gay, shopping is not really my cup of tea, but being in Singapore, the shopping heaven, I can't help but to shop around. I didn't shop for clothes though, as I prefer window-shopping at the electronics store. And I am frugal, I don't like to spend my dad's money on those expensive stuff. I always feel a little bit of guilt after buying something which lessens the weight of my wallet. Well...... yeah, I don't like spending money..... honest! (Please ignore the fact that the blogger managed to spend an average of 60 dollars per day in Singapore)

Oooh, it's the afternoon now. Time to go shop.

Au revoir.

8 Different Points About Your Perfect Lover

Spreading and multiplying like a contagious disease across the blogosphere, the nefarious Meme found its way into my blog as I was double-tagged, by none other than McGay and Chris with the cross thingy. Haha, I don't mind actually. Thank you and I love you all. *Muacks

1) LOVE ME just the way I am.

2) Humourous, fun to be with.

3) Mature (not necessarily old) and willing to take care of me. I am expecially 'blur' when it comes to direction, so I hope he'll lead the way for me.

4) Understanding, honest about his feelings, so that both of us can share our thoughts.

5) Have the same interests as me--- Games & Anime !!! If he doesn't, he should at least accept those interests.

6) Serious in having a long-term relationship (I'm not a slut although I watched too much porn you know.)

7) Remember my birthday.

8) Not a criminal.

Okay, it was really difficult for me to figure up all 8 points. I only had 2 points in the beginning and I was about to give up before squeezing my brain again for the other points. The first two points are pretty essential and the rest are just criteria for us to be comptible with each other.

Oh well, I'm so tired. I need to sleep and dream about having a perfect lover.

Ciao.

Singapore, Here I Come! (Part 2)

3 seats in a row! I was pleasantly surprised to be able to board a high-class bus, even though I bought an economical ticket. Sitting next to me is an UK couple. I nearly broke out in laughter as their voice sounded just like Mr ans Mrs Bean. In front of the couple are two Malays, a guy and a woman who looked like siblings. We reached a station where lots of buses were parked there, and some of the passengers began alighting from the bus with their luggage. And Mr Bean asked me:" Do you know what we're supposed to do here?". Apparently he's asked the wrong person because I had the same question in mind. The guy sitting in front of me (whom I suspect is a fellow queer) turned around and told us we don't have to do anything. It's a stop for the locals. As we went through the Malaysia, then the Singapore custom. The Malay couple were missing. Apparently they were detained at the Singapore custom. I saw the custom officer counting the cigarettes that they bought.

So the bus reached Singapore. Out of the window, a shirtless hunk was standing beside the street. He's got the model body, complete with the amazing rock- hard six-pack. All I could do was to shout "OH MY GOD" in my mind. That's when I pulled the curtain away and began seriously looking at the streets of Singapore. The country is indeed clean, and the grass looks greener, literally. It's like the improved version of Singapore.

Derek: Did I tell you that I'm going to treat you with a gay movie?
Me: Really? I don't know..... (Are you serious?)

So I went to the cinema with Derek to watch the French movie called C.R.A.Z.Y after a lunch. There was a cutie who had problems buying tickets to another gay film (King Clown) because his 'partner' wasn't there to show that he or she is above 18.


Anyway, I was surprised that there were things that I could relate to in the movie:

• When I was a kid, I had a 'friendship' with my dad. Yeah, we used to be friends with each other and I was spoilt.
  
• Once, I wore my sister's dress and began dancing and singing in the living room. Unlike the movie, my family just laughed at me, and I didn't do that again.
• I had prayed and wished that I'll be straight.
• I thought I had this 'gift', some sort of special power. I can make things happen if I wish for it hard enough, but I would lose something in return. Well, in retrospect, I think it's just a manifestation of my imagination after watching too much cartoons, and I'm still gay after praying so much.
• I became rebellious. I was angry and depressed that I couldn't stop being gay. I hated myself.

Oh, unlike the main character, I'm not cute and I didn't work out like him. And I didn't live in self-denial as long as him, thanks to all of the information about gays that I could obtain from newspapers, magazines and the internet. I tried to be straight, hypnotizing myself that I like the bouncing boobies. but after several attempts, I gave up. I felt that I couldn't do that anymore and if I kept making myself straight, I'll never be happy even until I die.

I'm not gay, but I'm gay.

And this is how I came to be who I am today. I accepted that I'm gay but I plan to stay in the closet for now. But I also crave for love, hoping that I'll find someone so that I'll not be lonely for the rest of my life.


At night, I went to Night Safari with my sis and her bf. I was moody that time after watching the movie and I had this poem in my mind.

The Search is always on,
But my heart is almost gone,
Bit by Bit...
Piece by Piece...
It's broken
But not sold.

Do I have to wait til dawn
Or keep running beyond
Step by Step...
Stop by Stop...
My flesh is willing
But my spirit is weak.


Oh, don't worry, I'm fine.

Singapore, Here I Come !!! (Part 1)

Singapore's gay population will increase by one

My time has come. I'll travel alone, all by myself, unprecedentedly. Lifting my luggage, I stride across confidently with my nose high in the air imagining myself as Sydney Bristow on a mission to save the world.

I went to the counter to enquire where my bus is.

Me : (showing ticket) Mana platform? Where's the platform?

Worker: ...blah...puluh..

Me: Hah?

Worker: blah blah

Me: Huh? Sepuluh? ten?

I walked away and talked to my father (who brought me to the station).

Me: Platform Ten ? I heard ten.

Father: What? You didn't hear what he said? He said come back and check again at 10 oclock (30 minutes before the bus departs)! How come I can hear from a distance away but u can't?

Me: (embarassed) I don't know.......

Immediately, I felt more like being Susan in Desperate Housewives.



Can a "blur blur" person like me survive the journey and reach Singapore safe and sound without getting:

• Detained at Custom
• Robbed
• Raped
• Kidnapped and sold to mafia
• Murdered for my kidney
• getting on the wrong bus and reached Thailand instead
  

?

The answer is Yes!

Lost in life

It's weird how the dilemma published in The Star today can be so relevant to my life

Yesterday afternoon, my sister called when I was playing RO.

Sis: Hello, what are you doing?

Me: Playing games lo, as usual.

Sis: You're playing game all day one ar? I just knew about this temp job in my company, do you wanna try it?

Me: I don't know.... (Horrible images of being a slave in my much-needed holidays flashed across my mind)

Sis: It has to do with builing a web portal related to manufacturing. Since you have basic HTML skills I think you can try that job. You'll get to learn some stuff for the future anyway, and it'll look good in your resume.

Me: What's the pay?

Sis: The pay isn't that good lah, 500 only, but it's a temporary job that lasts for 2 months after all.

Me: Uh...... I don't really want to do a job you know....

Sis: Then, what do you plan to do? Sit around all day wasting time in the holidays?

Me: Um... something like that..... (Hell, yeah! That's exactly my plan.) But I would have lost my holidays.

Sis: You can still play RO at night and in the weekends, right? Don't be like that la, this is a good opportunity you know. You should really try that....

Me: Okay..... gua (my slur began more and more obvious)

Sis: Ok, you email me your resume to me today before 5.

So, I took some time, rather unwillingly, to produce a resume for her. Being a perfectionist, I scanned pictures of my exams certificate (which I'm proud of) and put them into the MS Word document, and the size of the file ballooned to 25MB. Oh O! Under normal circumstances I would freak out but luckily in the past, I downloaded and installed Adobe Acrobat illegally just for fun, and now it comes in handy. The humungous word file was converted to a tiny 370 KB pdf file. Pleased, I sent it.

At night, my sister called again.

Sis: I forwarded the email already and they'll call you in for an interview. Anyway, you're going to Singapore right? We can go together with my husband (driving) in the weekends, because they got sales there.

Me: Okay.... that sounds like a great idea...

Sis: You need to stop slurring like this, brush up your presentation skill, later how are you going to get the job when they interview you?

Me: Ah..... I told you already. I don't really want the job........ That's why I'm gonna sound this unenthusiastic.....just go there and try la...

Sis: How can you say like that? Make up your mind okay? This is not the first time. Like in the previous time you rejected the JPA scholarship.

Me: Well, in retrospect, I think it's a wise decision. I don't regret anymore. 5 years of studying just to get a technical diploma in Japan doesn't sound right to me.

Sis: There's good and bad. You cannot close your mindset like that. Last time, I took you for a swimming course and you stopped halfway. You will regret you know when you go to a beach with your friends as you sit alone when your friends are playing in the water.

Me: Yeah... but I don't care.

Sis: You are always like that. Why can't you open your mind? That job is good you know, you can learn a lot of stuff. Last time I also, blah blah...blah (talked about her work experience)

Me: I know the job is a good opportunity but I'm so tired already after being so active in the Computer club....builing the school website......then SPM, NS and A-levels. I need to have a break, a long break.

Sis: What? blah..blah blah......blah (same nagging and lecturing) I bet you'll never succeed in life. I know. I can tell you you'll never be happy with your studies, your job, and you'll never earn a lot of money with this kind of attitude. You'll just be contended with a simple life but you'll not be happy either.

Me: Yeah, yeah (Whatever.)

Sis: blah...blah blah blah... (another long-winded lecturing on how I ought to think)

Me: Okay, sis. I tell you what. I'm sorry. My decision has always been what I told you in the beginning. No, I don't want the job.

Sis: Okay, if you insist, but you don't regret after this.


Sigh, all I wanted was a (long) holiday. I knew I had missed out on a good opportunity to put my free time to good use and make a quick buck in the process, but I really wanted to enjoy doing nothing in this period of time. My dad has also advised me before that I'll spend the rest of my life working so I might as well start working seriously only after graduation. Holidays, like these, he said, should be used to go to other countries, touring and seeing new stuff.

Okay, both of them wanted me to do something in the holidays, but I chose to do nothing instead. I may go on a vacation but I don't feel like doing that alone since noone is going to accompany me.

But I've been rethinking what my sister said to me. I'm afraid that she may be right. I realized there's a fine line between taking a break and being a sloth. The image of suffering from a life of "meaninglessness" for the other two months flashed across my mind.

I've been ruminating about this issue for the whole day. It really sucks, man! I think I may follow the footstep of my uncle, who is still trying to pass his lawyer test and has never really got himself a job even at his 60s now. God knows how he thinks but it seems that he's not ashamed of being jobless and dependent on his mother (until she passed away) and relatives for his entire life even until now.

I'm not sure I should start being productive. I just wanted to have a time where I have nothing to worry and stress about. I have enjoyed that for more than one week now. I really enjoyed it. But is it too long to enjoy that for three months?

What Type of Writer Should I Be?

I knew about this test from Prince of Darkness's blog

You Should Be a Joke Writer

You're totally hilarious, and you can find the humor in any situation. Whether you're spouting off zingers, comebacks, or jokes about life... You usually can keep a crowd laughing, and you have plenty of material. You have the makings of a great comedian - or comedic writer.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

Oh, so I'm a joker.

Haha, I expected that because I do like comedies, you know, things that can put a smile on our face to lighten up our life which is already full of misery. That is why I'm not a big fan of horror (especially japanese) or overly sentimental movies anyway. It's one thing to be entertained and another to get yourself either paranoid (thinking a spirit is whispering behind you) or moody (thinking all those love stories will end with the main characters dying or handicapped ).

I don't really have the sense of humour though, sometimes resorting to vulgar or shocking statements that can put the most shameless pervert to shame. Consequently I had the ridiculous honour of getting the title of "SM King" in my college. Go figure.

(Notice the desperate attempts by the blogger to make this post funny)

Starting Anew

Note to self: Never be so blur that you comment in a friend's blog with the blogger account you use to build a very personal gay blog. Never never never!

I am remaking this blog of mine. Sigh, the last thing I want is to have my family and friends wondering " What is this blog?" as they miraculously come across this blog.

You can find my previous entries in harvey0.blogspot.com

To think that I was writing a post about porn when I made that blatant mistake, again.