It's weird how the dilemma published in The Star today can be so relevant to my life
Yesterday afternoon, my sister called when I was playing RO.
Sis: Hello, what are you doing?
Me: Playing games lo, as usual.
Sis: You're playing game all day one ar? I just knew about this temp job in my company, do you wanna try it?
Me: I don't know.... (Horrible images of being a slave in my much-needed holidays flashed across my mind)
Sis: It has to do with builing a web portal related to manufacturing. Since you have basic HTML skills I think you can try that job. You'll get to learn some stuff for the future anyway, and it'll look good in your resume.
Me: What's the pay?
Sis: The pay isn't that good lah, 500 only, but it's a temporary job that lasts for 2 months after all.
Me: Uh...... I don't really want to do a job you know....
Sis: Then, what do you plan to do? Sit around all day wasting time in the holidays?
Me: Um... something like that..... (Hell, yeah! That's exactly my plan.) But I would have lost my holidays.
Sis: You can still play RO at night and in the weekends, right? Don't be like that la, this is a good opportunity you know. You should really try that....
Me: Okay..... gua (my slur began more and more obvious)
Sis: Ok, you email me your resume to me today before 5.
So, I took some time, rather unwillingly, to produce a resume for her. Being a perfectionist, I scanned pictures of my exams certificate (which I'm proud of) and put them into the MS Word document, and the size of the file ballooned to 25MB. Oh O! Under normal circumstances I would freak out but luckily in the past, I downloaded and installed Adobe Acrobat illegally just for fun, and now it comes in handy. The humungous word file was converted to a tiny 370 KB pdf file. Pleased, I sent it.
At night, my sister called again.
Sis: I forwarded the email already and they'll call you in for an interview. Anyway, you're going to Singapore right? We can go together with my husband (driving) in the weekends, because they got sales there.
Me: Okay.... that sounds like a great idea...
Sis: You need to stop slurring like this, brush up your presentation skill, later how are you going to get the job when they interview you?
Me: Ah..... I told you already. I don't really want the job........ That's why I'm gonna sound this unenthusiastic.....just go there and try la...
Sis: How can you say like that? Make up your mind okay? This is not the first time. Like in the previous time you rejected the JPA scholarship.
Me: Well, in retrospect, I think it's a wise decision. I don't regret anymore. 5 years of studying just to get a technical diploma in Japan doesn't sound right to me.
Sis: There's good and bad. You cannot close your mindset like that. Last time, I took you for a swimming course and you stopped halfway. You will regret you know when you go to a beach with your friends as you sit alone when your friends are playing in the water.
Me: Yeah... but I don't care.
Sis: You are always like that. Why can't you open your mind? That job is good you know, you can learn a lot of stuff. Last time I also, blah blah...blah (talked about her work experience)
Me: I know the job is a good opportunity but I'm so tired already after being so active in the Computer club....builing the school website......then SPM, NS and A-levels. I need to have a break, a long break.
Sis: What? blah..blah blah......blah (same nagging and lecturing) I bet you'll never succeed in life. I know. I can tell you you'll never be happy with your studies, your job, and you'll never earn a lot of money with this kind of attitude. You'll just be contended with a simple life but you'll not be happy either.
Me: Yeah, yeah (Whatever.)
Sis: blah...blah blah blah... (another long-winded lecturing on how I ought to think)
Me: Okay, sis. I tell you what. I'm sorry. My decision has always been what I told you in the beginning. No, I don't want the job.
Sis: Okay, if you insist, but you don't regret after this.
Sigh, all I wanted was a (long) holiday. I knew I had missed out on a good opportunity to put my free time to good use and make a quick buck in the process, but I really wanted to enjoy doing nothing in this period of time. My dad has also advised me before that I'll spend the rest of my life working so I might as well start working seriously only after graduation. Holidays, like these, he said, should be used to go to other countries, touring and seeing new stuff.
Okay, both of them wanted me to do something in the holidays, but I chose to do nothing instead. I may go on a vacation but I don't feel like doing that alone since noone is going to accompany me.
But I've been rethinking what my sister said to me. I'm afraid that she may be right. I realized there's a fine line between taking a break and being a sloth. The image of suffering from a life of "meaninglessness" for the other two months flashed across my mind.
I've been ruminating about this issue for the whole day. It really sucks, man! I think I may follow the footstep of my uncle, who is still trying to pass his lawyer test and has never really got himself a job even at his 60s now. God knows how he thinks but it seems that he's not ashamed of being jobless and dependent on his mother (until she passed away) and relatives for his entire life even until now.
I'm not sure I should start being productive. I just wanted to have a time where I have nothing to worry and stress about. I have enjoyed that for more than one week now. I really enjoyed it. But is it too long to enjoy that for three months?
10 comments:
oh my. ruminating. haven't seen that word in awhile.
i don't like working formal jobs. i'm gonna be a freelance something. maybe like magazine photographer. that's a cool job. wahoo.
Bart - tell you this. My apologies if I'm preaching but what the hell!! ;-) You're still young - 18 years old? You seem to have a good idea where you're going... maybe not all that clear but it will somehow work out. In life, you pretty much decide where you want to go and with a bit of luck, it will get you where you want to go. Taking a break now is no indication that you'll not do well in the future. It's how you see yourself. Your father's statement is true - take this time off to explore and expand your mind and your sister's nagging is somewhat true but she has forgetten that you're only young once. At least you're aware of this situation. So that's a good start...some don't even appreciate it. Once you hit the working life - man, even one week of not doing anything is considered luxury!
So chill....enjoy the break. Don't stress - it's only what one week after the exams?
Hi! Hope you don't mind me commenting and reading your blog. Ditto on Leo's comment.. I looked up your age and waved your sister's comments away - maybe saving it for later when you turn 30yo and still sitting there playing your video games.. tee hee. My older brother and father used to call and say the same thing.. I learned to hang up on them.. tee hee. Cuts the conversation short. .. I think now I figured out how men learn to tune us women out... blah blah blah... *sniff* geez. are we that bad? No doubt we are. ok.. cutting this comment short before it turns to blah blah blah.. LOL.
Your sister is somehow right I think. But it’s not wrong to take a break for a while (which I’m also doing right now) between those routine activity. That’s why they created the holiday, isn’t it? To free yourself from the usual stresses. Just free your mind and enjoy your holiday….
PS: I myself won’t spend that whole 3 months not doing anything lho, maybe I will just idle for 1 month, cos I don’t really like being idle for that long. Kinda boring actually, hehe.
playing games is ur passion. i had mine. makes d mind more tuned n focus. i played strategies. its play for fun n not addictive.
hmm ur sis may meant well. is ur family waiting for $ to put food on table? No right. So, enjoy ur holiday man. Scared u can't wait for work ah. U work till u drop and work still goes on.
if u got plans for holidays, go ahead. if u sit ard doing nothing, then 2 mths work is fun oso but not doing web la.
well, since ur parents r paying for ur fees, ask from them. most important is do what u want to do. no regrets.
Well, your sister has her point out but "forcing" you to do something you don't really into, then it's pointless too... You have such a long holiday, beside working, I guess you still have lots of activities you can do instead of working. No Hurry, dude! Your sister may think working temporary may be the best for your holiday because you can gain money and experience but since your family not waiting your money to put food on table, then just forget about it. Experience wise, if it's something related to your major next time, then it's a plus point but I believe this little experience wouldn't help much too since you still had a long journey to go before you step into working world. Imagine how things changes after 5 years. You still young, no hurry :)
Besides working which your sister suggest, you may still spent your long holiday with something valuable, you may think off taking up a short course for language study like Japanese or French if u interested in, it's kind of light studies which won't put stress on you.
Besides, if you have any plans to go travel, just go ahead with your budget, look new places, expand and broaden your mind, tat's also gaining something valuable mar :)
Holiday = Stress Release
Enjoy your holiday and it's time for you to release your stress. Do something you enjoy, after all your class reopen, u will start to struggle with studies and the stress level will getting higher from day to day till your final exam again.
Wish you have a nice holiday :p
Whenever got opportunity, better just grab. Outcome will be good or bad, you will never know if you don't try. We all understand how important holidays are, and when you start working, where your holidays are limited to anual leaves and public holidays, you would wish you were back in school.
But all I can say (after starting my 1st job for 1 year), gain as much experience as you can. Makes work easier, and easier for you to hop jobs, if you are not satisfied with the current one. Don't worry, another part of me is screaming out to you enjoy your holidays to the max dude!
Shocked you declined the JPA scholorship. JPA sponsored me to Japan too, and came back with a degree. I have other friends who also got diplo after 5 years (2 years japanese prep, 3 years diplo) then extended another 2 years to do degree. Loong process, but is definately worth the time. Sometimes I regret coming back.
Take it easy yeah!
You're still young. Don't waste your holidays. Won't have that many once you start work. Take the time to explore and expand your mind.
Paul
Yeah harvey, when you're working full time you won't get such long holidays any more, so make the most of your long holiday while you can. :o)
If you want to work a temporary job some of the time, to earn some spending money, then that's fine. But make sure you do the things you want to do and enjoy doing. Go out and about a bit with friends and visit places, even if you can't manage to travel abroad. And play games la. :o)
I so miss my long holidays. *sigh*
idiot with an opinion: Learned that word for SPM. Wow, if u get to be photographer for some male fitness magazine or Playgirl, I'm gonna be SOoo jealous.
Maximus Leo: Did you call me Bart? Thanks for your advice. Yeah, a friend of mine also told me that it's my life, and I can decide on my own. But I hope after this holidays I'll find my enthusiasm towards work and studies back.
Anniie: Yay, you're the first female commenting here! Welcome! Haha, thanks for the comment.
++ Chris ++ : Eh? My sister is right about what? I hope it's not the curse. Yeah, I had this dreadful feeling that I'll be bored to death for another 2 months. (Yep, I have 2 months and a few days left). So I'm finding sth else to do, like going to Spore now. Hehe.
Cibetronic: Hmmm.. my dad wants me go touring, and my mom wants me to help her do housework especially cooking (learn to cook for myself in the future). I'm lucky to be the youngest. All my siblings are working so yeah, there's no need for me to earn RM 500 a month for the family. I'd like to be a substitute teacher, though, if I had the chance.
Life Cafez: Thank you very much. Yep, this is how I'm thinking to spend my hoidays. I'll see if I can find the language course I like.
Hafiz Hector: Oooh, you got the same offer too? Personally I don't think I can study for so long, and to relearn a language all over again. I'd rather study in the I like --- English. Sigh, I know I've turned down a good opportunity, but I don't like the opportunity.
savante: Yeah, I'll try to do that, but to spend my time doing website doesn't sound very interesting to me.
hrugaar : Should I work or play? Yeah, I think I need to do something meaningful and enjoyable to me, even if it's just playng games and blogging. :P
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